Delicious Ambiguity

Party in Heaven

2010-03-21T23:21:00.000-07:00

Grandma left her earthy home and went onto her heavenly home on Thursday morning. I spent the night at the hospital with her on Wednesday night and she passed away early Thursday morning. I was sitting by her side as she took her last breath and Jesus called her home. We miss her so much, but surely no one misses her more then grandpa. He loved her deeply for 66 years and he really doesn't know life without her. If you remember, pray for him. His world has been turned upside down, and although that would be hard for any of us, I think it's a bit harder when you're 90 years old.

The Unknown...

2010-03-15T18:05:00.000-07:00

Wrote this for the ladies of FPU... My writings rang so true for myself too...so SO true...

Welcome back from a week of what was hopefully filled with some rest and relaxation! Spring Break was always one of my favorite things when I was in college. Usually the weather was nice enough to go somewhere with friends and enjoy time away from school. Though it’s always nice to have time off, sometimes getting back into the routine of going to class can be tough. And pile on daylight savings time on top of that and it was harder then ever to get out of bed this morning!

Spring break is always like a little summer preview. We’re in the home stretch of the semester and summer is just waiting for you—though for many of you it’s not coming fast enough. But with the coming of summer means the closing of a school year. Now I don’t want to get all of you thinking about summer just quite yet—your professors probably wouldn’t like that too much… However I think it’s valuable to acknowledge that though summer can be really fun, there can also be a lot of uncertainly associated with it. The season of life you are in right now is such a unique time where you have A LOT of time off from school and so many opportunities before you. Maybe you have this summer figured out but are now uncertain what next semester will look like.

Life is and will always be full of “the unknown”. Just the other day I read this quote and couldn’t agree with it more…”There will come a time when you think every thing is finished. That will be the beginning.” It’s true. Just when you think you have everything figured out something new will arise and you will start back at the beginning. This idea of dealing with the “unknown” can be a bit scary. Not knowing what lies ahead reminds us that we’re not fully in control—but many of us oh so badly wish we could be.

Many of us are wired to want to always have things figured out and to always know what’s coming next. Sound like you? But I think if we could see into the future and know what was to come we wouldn’t be able to handle it. I believe there is great purpose in why God keeps the future a mystery and only reveals one day at a time to us. Think about it—if God showed you everything all at once do you really think you could handle it all? I know what you’re thinking though…you don’t want to know your whole future just the next couple of years… right? If only it were that easy…

This is why we’re called to pray. And there's a big difference between praying for God to show us what He wants and praying for God to bless what we want. Okay, now read that again. There's been so many times that I've gone to God thinking that I'm praying for His will, and that He's remaining silent. When what I'm really doing is telling Him what I want and asking Him to make it happen.

God is so much bigger then we are. Trust and remember…He knows exactly what you need exactly when you need it…

:)

2010-02-03T17:59:00.001-08:00

2010 Here I come...

2009-12-31T13:08:00.000-08:00

I read this and loved it. Hope you pull a few things from it too! Happy New Year!!!

HANDBOOK 2010

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present
moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present
happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and
fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Life is busy..

2009-11-22T23:32:00.000-08:00

and my blog is suffering because of it. Sorry for the lack of posts ladies and gentlemen. I'm still alive and lovin' life. So much good stuff going on. I am thankful for so much and looking forward to the upcoming holidays. The Lord continues to teach me a lot about myself, about the stirrings in my heart and about how to truly love people with the need to look beyond myself to genuinely do that. I'm feeling incredibly thankful as the holiday season approaches for great friends, a wonderful family and a boyfriend who is truly a gift. Although classes are keeping me busy, I'm thankful to be able to be in school too.

What are YOU thankful for?? Hope you take time this week to step back, look around and remember what's truly important in your life.

Pumpkins, Candy Corn and Good Friends....FALL is here!

2009-10-29T11:41:00.000-07:00

Everything is Amazing and Nobody's Happy

2009-10-16T10:57:00.000-07:00

This is so worth the 4 minutes of your time. So so funny. And so so true.

Learning: really good but not always easy....

2009-10-16T00:16:00.000-07:00

Let me first start by saying, I think learning is always a good thing, but not always an easy thing.

:: It feels like grad school is kicking my butt...but I'm trying my darndest to kick back. In the end, I will win. I know this.

:: It feels like it's been a REALLY long year. I feel like so much has happened--and so many things I never expected would happen (both good and bad). I think I'll have to take a whole day towards the end of December to reflect on all that God has done and taught me this year.

:: I am looking forward to the holiday season and want to embrace what's left of this year for all it's worth.

:: There is a man by the name of Jerrod Bradley who has come into my life, and he was an unexpected blessing. This man understands what it means to love God and love people like few I have met before. He understands what it means to give and accept grace daily and he challenges me in ways I've never been challenged. And he's my boyfriend. And I like him. A lot.

:: I think August and October are by far the busiest months in my life. August came and went, now it's just a matter of getting through October. Busy with lots of good stuff, yet still busy.

:: Being busy is a drug and I may need to go to rehab...

:: I went to the fair this year and ate tacos, cinnamon roll and gelato. Umm Umm Good!

:: Dani and Mallorie stayed at my place for a few nights and it made me feel like I had roommates. They would be really fun roommates :)

:: Seasons come and seasons go and to that I say, PTL (Praise the Lord!) Some seasons I can't wait to be over and others I wish I could stay in forever. But just as their is great beauty in the weather seasons changing, there is also great beauty in the changing seasons of life.

:: My birthday is coming up and I'm going to be 25. 1/4 of a century. So 1/3 of my life is over, although I hope to live past 75.

:: I've ate more chocolate and candy in the past two weeks then I have in the past two months. And next week won't be good either... You only live once, right?? :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIM!

2009-10-08T10:44:00.001-07:00

Today is my brother's birthday. He is 27. TWENTY SEVEN! It seems like just yesterday I was 5 and he was 7 and we were running through the sprinklers in our front yard. I love him so much--more then he knows I'm sure. He has taught me more then he'll ever know and has been a true example to me of what it means to love people without judgement in such a genuine way. He's so much like my mom--in so many good ways.

He's one person I can't be mad at or stay mad at very long. He just has this way about him that makes it's so hard to be mad at. Trust me, growing up we had our share of fights, but as we've got older I have learned to appreciate so much about who he is and the wonderful brother he is to me. His hugs are so comforting and just talking to him can make any day better--his light hearted laughter is so refreshing.

Happy Birthday Tim! You are greatly loved by so many!

She's Home Now...

2009-10-07T17:24:00.000-07:00

Jesus called this beautiful young woman, Katie Friesen, home with Him last Thursday, October 1st. She was a junior at Fresno Pacific where she was loved by MANY. Those who are grieving her loss do not grieve as those who have no hope--Katie had hope and her hope in Jesus was evident.

These song lyrics have been on my mind a lot: "Til He returns or call me home, here in the love of Christ I stand". Katie truly is standing and basking in the LOVE of Christ right now.

Christ called her home and often the journey one begins when a loved one dies is full of more questions then answers. Even with the many questions, there is rejoicing together in Christ knowing it's not "goodbye" but rather "until we meet again".

"Til He returns or calls me home, here in the love of Christ I stand"

Food for Thought

2009-09-29T19:20:00.000-07:00

"We have not been promised extravagant housing, but we have been promised His presence. We often find ourselves in spaces that seem the last spot on earth we would have picked to insert ourselves, engaged in things that we never imagined ourselves having to do, but we can know this comfort: that wherever we are, we are in the very residence of God and this is sweeter and greater than anywhere without Him."

–David Crowder

Nina and Scott Shaver

2009-09-21T01:31:00.001-07:00

It was a BEAUTIFUL day full of GREAT memories...

Prayer Request for G-ma

2009-09-19T13:31:00.000-07:00

My grandma is in the hospital right now and has been there for the past four days. She went in because she had become extremely nauseated, stopped eating because food made her feel sick, would throw up any food she did eat and the consequently became quite dehydrated. The doctors have run ample amounts of test on her, yet there has yet to be any further understanding as to what is going on. All of us are praying that it is nothing major and that she'll be back at home soon.

She was diagnosed with cancer for the second time about 5 months ago and has gone through radiation treatment since then and that in itself has been a bit of a rough road for her. We're all pretty sure the cancer is being stubborn and still lingering in her body.

I talked to my grandpa the other day on the phone and asked if he needed anything and he replied with, "Nope, all I need is for grandma to come home..." The love they have for one another is indescribable.

So my family and I covet your prayers right now as we continue on this journey of wanting grandma to be back home and feeling much better. I'll surely keep you all posted.

"Me Too"

2009-09-16T15:24:00.001-07:00

Thoughts For The Throne
September 14th

I had lunch this weekend with some good friends and walked away feeling quite refreshed. Sometimes when you share a meal with people there might be a hint of a deeper kind of conversation, but typically there is usually more eating and less talking. With the busyness of life we are sometimes driven by the clock and eat in a hurry, leaving limited time or space for “beyond the surface” kinds of conversations.

I sometimes find myself being a slave to the clock, moving quickly from one thing to the next. This weekend however, I sat with my two friends at lunch and I was determined to not watch the clock. Our conversation was filled with all sorts of topics and conversations, some focused on life’s bigger questions and others focused on the day to day struggles we all encounter. For me, the most refreshing part of the conversation was hearing two simple words that carry with them a magnificent healing power; the words "me too".

There's something special about hearing those words from someone. I think that we each carry within our broken souls a false assumption that we are unique in our hurts. We believe that we are singular in our struggle. Pioneers into a land of pain that no one has ever set foot in before. But that's just wrong...

We're not Neil Armstrongs of sin. In fact God’s Word (see below) says that we can't encounter any temptation or struggle that isn't common to others. But we forget this. Satan uses our shame to isolate us from the fellowship that God has designed us for. And sometimes, we need to hear someone who is walking a similar path as us say "me too".

There's something about those words that carries with it a power greater than even an answer to our problems can give. A power that builds a bridge between two people. A power that heals...

I hope as you continue in your time here at FPU, you examine where you’re at in life, look at the struggles you encounter, and remember you are not alone in those. It’s easy to push people away as it’s much more difficult to let people in. My prayer for you is that you engage in those deeper conversations with people you trust. But I’ve learned that the more honest we are with ourselves and with those around us, the more we allow room for God to work…to heal our souls…and remind us that we are His.

Until Next Week…

Becky

“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure”. 1 Corinthians 10:13

They Are Married :)

2009-09-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

More pictures to come... :)

I can't do it on my own...

2009-09-06T14:05:00.000-07:00

This past week has been a whirlwind. Many MANY good things and a few overwhelming things. I started my grad classes two weeks ago and I've gotta be honest, I've been a bit overwhelmed by it all. I know once the routine of life settles in and I start back on the track of doing school stuff and setting aside time for reading and paper writing, things will even out. I am taking 6 units right now and continue to work full time in the job that I love. There were a few times last week where I felt that there was so much going on and so much to do, I felt somewhat paralyzed and didn't know where to begin. It's in those moments I am reminded that I MUST rely on strength from the Lord and not rely on my own doing.

I am blessed to have the opportunity to start my grad studies and have a job that I love and work with people I love. I really feel I am exactly where Jesus wants me and for those of you who have felt that before, you know there is nothing that compares to it.

Surely there will be more to come... :)

If you want a really good laugh...watch this....

2009-09-03T00:59:00.000-07:00

The video is almost 3 minutes long, but if you just watch the first minute of it you can get the jest of it. And after about 20 seconds you'll probably be laughing really hard. Make sure you can hear the music when you play it. Enjoy :)

PTL

2009-09-01T09:16:00.000-07:00

"But we have treasures in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair, persecuted but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed."

2 Corinthians 4:7-9

Soon to be Mrs. Shaver... :)

2009-08-30T09:24:00.000-07:00

My really good friend Nina is getting married in less than two weeks! Last night all of us ladies in the wedding party went out to dinner to celebrate! This wedding is one I'm REALLY looking forward to for many, many reasons. Can't wait to celebrate with Nina and Scott and all their friends and family!!

So much good stuff going on...!

2009-08-22T17:58:00.000-07:00

Kinds of People I REALLY Appreciate

2009-08-21T17:22:00.000-07:00

Those who ask how you're doing and truly care. You know they care just by the way they ask.

Those who listen. And I mean really listen.

Those who have stood the test of time with you and endured many of life's great joys and difficulties.

Those who do the right thing even when it's really really hard.

Those people I can be really honest with and know they will love me just the same.

Those who speak truth to me in great love.

Those who ask me hard questions, yet do so in such a caring way.

Those who challenge me to grow and most often don't even know they are doing it.

To these kind of people and to the ones that God has put in my life... thank you.

It's been tooooo long!!!

2009-08-21T16:47:00.000-07:00

Blogger.com and the FPU wireless network were not working together for some time now and it's been SUPER frustrating! The problem has been fixed now, so I will be back to blogging! I have a lot to write and bring people up to speed on, so be ready!

PTL I can blog again!

Quick Update

2009-07-31T17:05:00.001-07:00

--I'm in the process of writing a paper for my online class right now. I haven't wrote a paper in APA format in almost 4 years. It has made me head hurt at times.

--I just registered for my grad classes this fall. My classes will include: Group Counseling, The Church and God's Mission, Aging and the Elderly, and Counseling Sexual Addictions. Some of those are weekend intensive classes so those won't all be on a weekly bases...PTL. I'm excited and a tad nervous.

--I've counted that I have attended 7 weddings so far this year and will attend 6 more before the year is over.

--I love spin class. I've determined one reason I love it so much is because it's a great workout and I can peddle out the stress of the day and the more stressful of a day I had the more intense the work out. It's great!

--I went to a new hair stylist and I LOVE her. Shout out to Jess for the reference and Lisa you go to her too! Such a small world. Her name is Aimee and she is fab.

--I'm at Panera right now and it reminds me of how much I miss Lisa.

--Dani and Mallorie always make me laugh. I'm glad Mal is back and they will both be back on campus soon!

--Eric is running the Disneyland half marathon (for the 3rd time) in September and I think he's crazy.

--Derek just moved for the 28th time in his life and I think he's crazy. Okay, 28 might be a bit of an exaggeration...but not too far off :)

--Jen has a new job and I couldn't be happier for her! Now we just need to find her a husband...right? haha....

--August is a crazy busy month, but lots of good things are going on.

--I still love diet pepsi. A lot.

In Christ Alone

2009-07-26T23:22:00.000-07:00

We sang this song, "In Christ Alone" today in church and I haven't been able to get it out of my head. I bolded the parts that stuck out to me. What sticks out to YOU? Such a good song...

In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied;
For ev'ry sin on Him was laid—
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine—
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow'r of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.

Two Good Quotes I Heard Recently...

2009-07-26T13:53:00.000-07:00

"You can't lean on a shovel and pray for a hole".

"Mission and morality often go hand in hand. When one loses sight of their mission, they can often lose sight of their morality".

.

Here come the June brides...

2009-07-20T12:44:00.001-07:00

For 3 out of the 4 weekends in June I was at a wedding. All these ladies were BEAUTIFUL brides...

Random Randomness and Things I've Been Learning

2009-07-16T13:09:00.000-07:00

1. I like posting blogs every now and then entitled "Thing I've Been Learning" in large part because I like to look back on them down the road and see if I truly learned these things or simply forgot them :)

2. I'm taking an online class right now and I had work due by midnight last night and I started it at 10:30pm... Reminds me all too well of my undergrad days.

3. I am in my friend Nina's wedding in September and the bridesmaid dress I am wearing on the big day is a tad tight right now. I'm doing weight watchers to drop 7-10 pounds in the next 6 weeks. I refuse to pay to have the dress altered to fit better when dropping a few pounds will do the trick.

4. I can't connect to blogger.com from my computer at home...at least not very often! I'm not sure why, but it's SUPER annoying. Yes, SUPER annoying.

5. I've been going to spin class at the gym twice a week for the past few weeks and I'm loving it. I'm hoping to still find time for it even as work starts up and life gets busy. It's a great workout and really pushes me.

6. TWO engagements happened yesterday. One being my friend's Brandon and Steph. Brandon is actually my ex-boyfriend, which is super funny because we dated for about 3-4 months when we were in college. And as many of you know, 3-4 months in a Christian college setting is like 2-3 years in the real world, but that is one relationship that could not have ended any better. Him and Steph are SO great for one another. When I got this text, it made me smile. And no, I'm not just saying that :)

The other engagement was one of my former RAs, Lauren. Her and her boyfriend (also named Loren, I know what are the odds, right?) have been dating for a while. Actually, come to think of it, I remember when they first started dating. Awwwwww. They are a really fun couple.

7. I really need a haircut. Next Friday I have an appointment and it could not come soon enough.

8. I think too much. No really, I do.

9. On that note, I've been thinking a lot lately about the sense of "entitlement" I have about certain things. Why do I feel entitled to certain things and should I? That's a whole other post for a whole other day...

10. I feel like the overarching question Jesus keeps asking me lately is, "Becky, do you trust me? Do you really trust me?"

I should be in bed. I'm a workin' woman again and the days are only going to get longer as the nights get shorter!

I like my church...

2009-07-08T16:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes church videos can be cheesy (some can be VERY cheesy), but maybe it's just me, but I often think the videos my church makes are pretty dang funny.

SE BBQ Promo from The Well Community Church on Vimeo.

Don't Order This...Unless you plan to share it with 8 other people...

2009-07-08T00:30:00.000-07:00

The Worst Drink in America:

Baskin-Robbins Large Heath Bar Shake

2,310 calories
108 grams fat (64 g saturated)
266 grams sugar

Let's look at America's Worst Drink in numbers:

73: The number of ingredients that go into this milkshake.

66: The number of teaspoons of sugar this drink contains.

11: The number of Heath Bars you would have to eat to equal the number of calories found in one Baskin Robbins Large Heath Bar Shake.

12: The average number of minutes it takes to consume this drink.

240: The number of minutes you'd need to spend on a treadmill, running at a moderate pace, to burn it off.

Crazy huh?? Actually, it makes me sick to think about what drinking one of these would feel like....yuck. You can check out other "worst drinks" here.

Things I've Been Enjoying Lately...

2009-07-03T10:47:00.000-07:00

--Spin Class (Jess and I rock it!)

--Swimming/Laying Out

--Strawberries and blueberries in vanilla yogurt

--Sleeping In (Well I haven't really been sleeping in lately, but I enjoy the thought of knowing I can sleep)

--A clean car

--Having dinner at Chic-fil-a with Dani and Mallorie and looking at pictures...and videos :)

--Spending time with Jen doing absolutely nothing

--Seeing lots of friends this summer

--Journaling

--Not thinking too much :)

A Busy Season Full of Joy and Tears...

2009-06-29T14:17:00.000-07:00

Summer has been busy and lots is going on! I keep meaning to post pictures from my trip to Chicago and from the 3 weddings that took place in June alone! I promise I will do this soon...let's say before the week is over. Fair enough?

This morning however, was a difficult one. On Wednesday last week, news quickly spread that one of our pastor's at The Well and his wife, lost their 4 month year old son. Little Tyler Rumley died on Wednesday afternoon and the memorial service was held this morning. I can't sit here and say that I knew this family super well. I mean I had met and talked to both Jen and Jerrod at various times, but I wouldn't say by any means that I was close to them. And to be honest, I was surprised at how hard the memorial service was for me today. Although we weren't close, being at a memorial service this morning for a 4 month year old little guy was really hard. Harder then I thought. I cried much more then I thought I would. I've been told that one of my gifts/strengths is empathy, and that is exactly what I felt today for this family.

Granted I don't have any children of my own so I cannot even begin to imagine what it feels like to lose a child. I'm told it is a pain like no other and one that sinks deep down into one's soul. The memorial service was beautiful and although there were lots of tears, there was also an immense amount of hope knowing with full assurance in our faith in Jesus that Tyler is now in a better place. A much better place.

I deeply admired the family's approach to the situation and the way they pointed everything back to Jesus and the hope we have in Him and Him alone during this difficult time. My heart is still heavy today as I think about what the Rumley family is going through.

As a church family we were reminded yesterday in church through a study in Daniel that God is still God even when deeply painful and difficult times hit. I know there are many people grieving today, and as those whose hope is in Jesus, we do not grieve as those who have no hope.

If you remember, say a prayer for this family. The road they are walking will be a very long one. More information can be found on The Rumley's blog.

Back to Basics

2009-06-24T18:11:00.000-07:00

So I really like this commercial. I don't have Allstate Insurance but I like the message this commercial sends. Back to the basics. Yes, please.

Finally!

2009-06-24T10:05:00.001-07:00

I've been having the hardest time connecting to the blogger website. Every time I tried it said the website was not responding, hence why it's been way too long since my last post. So now be ready, lots has been going on over the past three weeks... Stay tuned :)

O Hi O

2009-06-12T14:21:00.000-07:00

It's been a little while since I last posted. Life has been busy. Actually, that's an understatement.

Right now I'm enjoying time with family in Ohio. I flew in on Wednesday and I'm hanging out with my Aunt Diane and Uncle Rich until Sunday afternoon, when they'll take me back to the airport and I'll fly over to Chicago for 5 days!

I'm keeping busy here in Ohio too, but it's so so different. It's completely relaxing. My Aunt and Uncle are seriously the most hospitable people I know (growing up I always hoped to be as hospitable as my aunt when I had my own place...) They are so kind and fun and there is always something new to do around here. Whether it's taking their boat out on the river, riding go-carts, Snipe hunting with the boys (my cousin's sons who are 7 and 9) or just relaxing by their pool.

I went to a "cook-out" last night with my aunt and uncle at one of their friend's house. They have "cook-outs" here, they don't call them BBQs :) But for some reason I was the talk of the cook-out (mostly because I was the youngest one there and from California). When I got there they opened a bottle of champagne and insisted I have a glass. I couldn't argue with them of course :) They told me they had that champagne for a special occasion and that night was the night to use it!

Food and drinks were flowing as stories were told about "the good old days" where EVERYONE is known by their last name and what county they were from. "Oh you're a Kruse?" they said as we were talking. "And what were your grandparent's names?" I said "Lloyd and Katie" and they said, "Oh yes! They owned The Palmer House restaurant that had that great chicken noodle soup and your grandma had the prettiest hair!"

My grandma does make really good chicken noodle soup and I've seen pictures of her hair back in the day...she was a looker :)

All that to say, I'm having a great time here and am looking forward to exploring the great city of Chicago next week! I'm looking forward to going to Wrigley Field on Wednesday to a Cubs game. I don't usually eat hot dogs, but you better believe I'll be having one at the game!

The Big 2-1

2009-05-31T15:39:00.000-07:00

Dani and Mallorie both turned the big 2-1 last week (their bdays are 4 days apart). We went out to lunch at Olive Garden and later that evening continued the celebration by going to Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory and had ooey-gooey chocolate and caramel covered apples. So SO good!

Oh and we got free chocolate covered strawberries (notice we're holding them up in the third picture) because Dani and Mallorie are dang good looking and the guy behind the counter came outside to the benches we were sitting at and gave them to us. It pays to have such good looking friends :)

Bride to Be...

2009-05-31T15:22:00.000-07:00

She's getting married...Mariana that is. We roomed together for two years in college. She will be getting married in about 3 weeks and we celebrated with a girl's night out last night. It was a lot of fun and our friend Courtney came in from Turlock to join in the festivities! It's summer and the fun never ends.... :)

I just need to get married now and live to be 106 to beat this record...

2009-05-27T23:52:00.000-07:00

A British husband and wife who say a little arguing and a "happy outlook" keep them together just celebrated their 81st wedding anniversary.

Frank Milford, 101, and his wife, Anita, 100, were married on May 26, 1928. They are currently the longest-married couple in the United Kingdom.

106 years old...here I come... Oh wait, I probably should first work on finding that man with good genes who will live that long too :)

And We Remember...

2009-05-25T10:00:00.000-07:00

The above pictures are from my trip to D.C. last summer when we visited Arlington National Cemetery. The 2nd picture is the tomb of the unknown solider. It says "Here Rests In Honored Glory An American Solider Known But To God"

Let us not forget...

My Brother....The College Graduate...

2009-05-23T21:42:00.000-07:00

He graduated from Cal State Fullerton today with a BA in Business Management. We are SO proud of him...

He took the slightly longer college route (8 years :) BUT he did it and he looked good doing it! Love my brother so much. It's been a good, good weekend.

I'll Be There For You...Cause You're There For Me Too...

2009-05-22T00:39:00.000-07:00

The other night Jen and I were going through boxes she had in storage for sometime. Many of the things we found in the boxes took us on a trip down memory lane starting in 7th grade. We found letters, pictures, poems, lots and lots of prom pictures (why did we take so many and why in the world did we buy so many??) and an 8th grade promotion gift I gave to Jen...

**Notice it says to "Jennifer" and not "Jen". This is because in 8th grade she was known as Jennifer not Jen. Now if I call her Jennifer it sounds so strange...

We had fun going through the boxes and if you were there you would have heard us say "awwwwwwww..." many many times as we found all sorts of forgotten treasures.

Update on G-Ma...

2009-05-19T11:52:00.000-07:00

I went with my grandma the other day to her last radiation appointment. She had 40 treatments (everyday excluding weekends) for 40 days. Yesterday was her last one...or so we thought...

The doctors told her that the cancer had spread to her spine and that more treatment would be needed. We're unsure at this time what kind of treatment she will have or if she will be able to continue with radiation.

Needless to say, this was a complete shock to my grandma and my whole family. And my grandpa had been with her for 39 out of the 40 visits, but couldn't go last night because he had a procedure that morning and wasn't able to drive for the rest of the day. The one day he's unable to come and she gets that news...

I'm glad I was with her, although I was in complete shock too. She is a strong woman and I continue to learn so much from her and because of her.

Continued prayers are appreciated. I'll be sure to update as I know more...

Our hope remains in Christ and Christ alone. Through it all He is at work in both seen and unseen ways...there is absolutely no doubt about that.

The Below Post...

2009-05-18T20:54:00.000-07:00

wasn't written by me. SOMEONE used my computer while I was still logged into my blogger account... I wonder WHO that was... :) She's a tricky one...

DANI & MALLORIE

2009-05-18T18:24:00.000-07:00

Dani is such a cool person. I just love when she comes over to my apartment and hangs out. Mallorie on the other hand is a little crazy child who says frickin way too much and I just want to smack her upside the head sometimes.

But I Love them both very much!!!

Question of the day...

2009-05-15T17:26:00.000-07:00

Do you think time heals all wounds?

I miss them...

2009-05-13T21:51:00.000-07:00

How in the world does time fly by so fast? These beautiful women are now SENIORS and only have one more year at FPU. That is absolutely crazy to me. And school is out so them and a majority of everyone else have moved home for the summer, which means these two no longer live across the street from me :(

Those who were freshmen my first year (like Dani and Mallorie) are going to be seniors next year... That means next year will be my 4th year working at FPU... W-O-W...

Don't get me wrong...Summer is WONDERFUL, but I miss these two and other lovely ladies that I grew close to this past year...if you're reading this and wondering "Am I one of those lovely ladies she misses?" The answer is most likely "Yes" :)

R.I.P my little black hat...

2009-05-11T22:26:00.000-07:00

Went to Magic Mountain today. Walked a ton. Ate a ton. Rode a ton of rides (with very little wait). And had a ton of fun. R.I.P my little black hat that went flying off my head on the 2nd roller coaster we rode of the day. Oh well, I rocked a side ponytail for the rest of the day :)

Good times were had even in the midst of my loss. Notice in the first picture of the day I am wearing it and in every other picture after that I'm not...

FPU Graduation 2009...

2009-05-10T15:14:00.000-07:00

Another year came and went and although the past three weeks have seemed incredibly long, the year itself has gone by incredibly fast. Around this time of year I commonly find myself and others saying "I feel like it was just August and the school year was only beginning...where did the time go??"

Here are a few pics from graduation, including DEREK'S GRADUATION from the degree completion program here at FPU! So so excited and proud of him!! He's worked so hard for so long and it's finally paid off!!

Oh AND Lisa came for a SURPRISE visit from D.C. for D's graduation! It was SO good to get to see her and hang out for a bit. I really hope to be coming your way in July Lisa... :)

My Weekend...

2009-05-03T22:25:00.000-07:00

was wonderful.

Friday:

Left Fresno about noon (after having a LONG list of things I had to get done before I left...and I got them all done along with getting some sweet music to take with me on my drive)

Got in the car and met Steph in Merced for lunch. So good to see that girl and catch up on life for a few hours.

Continued my drive to Turlock - Met up with Court and Drew and his friend Justin and we headed up to Court's uncles cabin!

Rained the whole drive up. Stopped at the store and stocked up on all sorts of good food.

Arrived at the cabin. Unpacked the truck and headed to dinner.

Went to dinner at a local diner. Good food and a fun atmosphere.

Back to the cabin for hang out and movie watching. And ice cream eating of course.

Saturday:

Woke up about 10am

Made a BIG breakfast with amazing belgian waffles and fresh starwberries.

Hung out. Took naps. Watched movies. Did absolutely nothing. It was marvelous.

Got ready. Went to the movies and to dinner.

Back to the cabin to do nothing again. This was the theme of the weekend and it was WONDERFUL!

More movie watching and lounging. And more ice cream eating.

Sunday:

Woke up. Made muffins for breakfast.

Did nothing again.

Around 1pm got ready and cleaned up the cabin.

Headed out the door to lunch in Sonora.

Enjoyed the drive back and stopped at Starbucks too. Nothing like some good pastries to close out our trip.

When I got back home, I went to Wendy's with Dani and Mallorie and ate way too much food. But the company can't be beat :)

It was SO good to have time away and enjoy it with good friends!!

This email sums up my mom... :)

2009-04-29T18:09:00.001-07:00

Hey Cutie,

I love you sooooooo!! I am so proud of you!! Thank you Lord for our
Becky!!!

Your Mom for ever and ever,
Love,
Mom

Thoughts For The Throne...

2009-04-28T12:23:00.000-07:00

This is the last of my "Thoughts For The Throne" for the lady students this year. Thought I would share...

Thoughts for the Throne
April 27th

As I sat down at my computer to write this week’s “Thoughts for the Throne” I thought to myself… “Wow, I have a lot of thoughts this week…”

I’m sure many of you have had that same thought this week. Or you may not find yourself saying that you have a lot of thoughts swirling around in your head, but instead, you have a lot of things on your mind that you need to get done. Or if you’re like me, you have both.

I think it’s appropriate to acknowledge the loss we have experienced with the passing away of Jeanette Mathews last Saturday. I’ve had the opportunity to talk with some of you as we have traveled on the road of grieving and heartache. The road is full of questions, and unfortunately, many are without answers. This road is also full of sadness as life and time continues to move forward, although our minds and hearts may be stuck in one place.

A few weeks ago I was driving in a car with a friend, when he turned and asked me, “If you could ask God three questions about anything or have God explain three things to you, what would they be?” I thought about it for a minute and realized I could think of more then just three questions. I could think of thirty.

It was in that moment I realized the beauty of how God created us. He created us with limited knowledge about the way He works in and around us. If God wanted to, He could reveal all of the how’s and why’s of the world to us, but something tells me we would be overwhelmed with it all. It was in that car that I realized (or I should say "was reminded of once again") that God sees and understands far more then we do. And even if I did ask God the three questions I had, I still wouldn’t be satisfied because I would have three more…and then three more….

Jesus calls us to trust in Him and Him alone. To trust that although we can only see a small piece of the greater picture, the greater picture is what He’s looking at. He sees the burdens we carry. He sees the pain in our lives. He sees when we grieve and when we want answers to many of life’s challenging questions. And through it all He sits with us.

The other day I went over to my best friend’s house to check in on her because she has been really sick. I asked her if I could do anything for her or if she needed anything and she said, “Can you just sit with me?” There is power in just being with people or allowing people to be with us to “just sit”. Sitting is hard though because there is no action involved. It’s our human nature to want to “do” rather then “just be”. And that’s what Jesus wants to do with us. Everyday. He wants to sit with you. He wants us to take time out from the “doing” and focus on the just “being” with Him.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m in this with you, trying to learn how to “just sit” with Christ more. In the time that I do take to just sit and be with Christ, it’s in those moments I know He is at work restoring my soul. He is at work restoring the areas where life has taken a hit. Jesus is all about restoring us back to Him….day by day…that is His desire. I pray this summer you take time to “just sit” with God. To listen, to pray and to seek and may you find Him in ways you would have never imagined…

Until Next YEAR…!

Becky

Simply Put...

2009-04-22T00:17:00.001-07:00

There is a lot going on right now.

But that isn't surprising to Jesus.

He knows it. He sees it.

And He sits with me.

He continues to remind me that He sees and understands far more then I do.

And He reminds me that I will make it and He is at work restoring my soul.

And for that I am thankful.

Thank you Jesus.

What have I been up to lately...?

2009-04-17T23:35:00.000-07:00

This sums it up... :)

Random (and really random) thoughts...

2009-04-13T21:37:00.000-07:00

--Looking forward to traveling this summer. Going to Ohio to see family and going to Chicago to see my cousin Mahgen and because I've never been to the Windy City and it's on my list of "25 things to do before I'm 25".

--I was a good student in college during my undergrad years... I wonder if I'll be a good student in grad school... As of right now I'm doubting that...

--The topic of weddings comes ups all the time. People always ask me who I would have in my bridal party. I have to say, although I've been in a number of weddings and have some amazing friends, there are only two people I can name that are constant on my list (I don't really have a list, but ya know). I think the bridal party of a wedding is really dependent upon what season of life the couple is in and who is in their life and closest to them at that moment. I mean, it makes sense. Jen and Nina remain my constant two.

--I'm really good at procrastinating...and that's really bad...

--I don't belong to a gym right now, and up until now always have since I was 17... but I think that is going to change here soon...

--Next summer, Dani and Mallorie and I are going to Boston (remember guys?? :) If I marry a rich man by then, I will be paying for our trip. If I don't, then we're all on our own. But I've always wanted to go to Boston and I like Dani and Mallorie a lot and they are fun to travel with and it would be a great way to celebrate their graduation!!!

--I'm continuing to learn what it means to love myself so I can truly love others

--I wish I had answers to some of life's hard questions

--I really don't watch much T.V. I have satellite and a DVR so you think I would watch quite a bit... but I really don't...

--Being honest can be hard, but it's incredibly liberating at the same time.

--Strawberry cupcakes are my weakness

That's all for now. Lots more I could write, but I'll leave it here for now :)

"I'm Bored..."

2009-04-12T21:59:00.000-07:00

I haven't found myself saying that in a looooong time. There is always something to do... someone to see.... somewhere to go. Or at least there is always something I "should" or "could" be doing...

Someone recently said, "If you're bored...then you're boring..."

Would you agree?

The Count Down...

2009-04-06T23:28:00.001-07:00

This girl is getting married in 11 days and I'm really excited for her...! AND she's having dancing at her wedding...oh yeah...you know I'll be out there! Less than two weeks Steph!!

Love Never Fails and Hope Doesn't Disappoint

2009-03-30T23:57:00.000-07:00

Remember that this week.

A Little Photo Booth Fun...

2009-03-26T10:57:00.001-07:00

You can tell Dani was loving it...notice the progression of her faces... (she's the one on the left)...

I have fun friends :)

If I was a flight attendant, I would want to work with this guy...

2009-03-22T10:45:00.000-07:00

I hope there is a fun flight attendant like this guy on one of my flights this summer!

Where does the time go?

2009-03-21T23:45:00.000-07:00

I seriously think that time always goes by fast, but it seems to fly by even faster during the spring time! Had some fun stuff going on with some pictures to be posted soon. A quick recap:

--Went to Nevada for a few days with two wonderful and crazy friends, Dani and Mallorie. Mal is from Nevada so we stayed with and hung out with her family, while we enjoyed the small town feel. And when I say "her family" that pretty much means half the town...that girl knew everyone! It was a lot of fun. Love those girls a lot. Pictures to come soon.

--Just got back from my first wedding of the year tonight (two more to come in April!). I dated a guy in college and while we were dating, I got to know his family pretty well. Today his sister got married and I was invited to join in the celebration. I also got to see and spend a good amount of time with my friend Courtney and her husband Drew, who are wonderful and so much fun. I went up Friday afternoon and stayed the night at their place and came back late tonight. After spending time with them, I always leave having laughed a lot and feeling incredibly refreshed. Time with them was good for my soul. Really good.

--Got my first pedicure of the year today too. It was about time to start wearing flip flops and bring those toes out from their winter hiding!

--I now have internet on my phone and it's crazy addicting. What have I got myself into??

--I'm continuing to learn the power and value of a listening ear. I've tried to be better at listening over the past month or so and have been incredibly grateful to those who have offered a genuine ear to me.

--My brother was in town for a few days and we had the chance to hang out for a whole evening. It was a lot of fun and so good to catch up. There is surely no one like that guy.

--I filled out my first NCAA bracket ever this year and it's been a lot of fun to follow. Tim (my brother) was the one who told me I had to do one...so I did...and I have to say I'm doing pretty well!

--As I look ahead to summer I'm really looking forward to all the summer fruit!!

5 Nuggets of Wisdom From My Grandma...

2009-03-11T11:52:00.000-07:00

My grandma has always told me to be smart with my finances, but to not be cheap when buying any of the following things...

1. Shoes
2. Bras
3. Make Up/Face Lotion (Oh and she has always reminded me to put lotion on my neck morning and night...it's the first place that starts to show aging, so she says... AND wear sunscreen!)
4. Pots and Pans
5. Kitchen Knives

How do I answer that??

2009-03-01T13:50:00.000-08:00

I was a part of a panel of women yesterday at the 3rd annual FPU women's day retreat. Myself and my friend Kimi (also the other RD at FPU) along with the help of our wonderful RAs took a bus full of women to Cambria for the day. There we enjoyed time on the beach, watched matting elephant seals, ate some barbecued ribs and enjoyed a day at the coast together as women. We spent some time at a local church where along with other things, we had a panel of women that answered questions that the ladies wrote down earlier in the day. We told the ladies no question was off limits as we wanted this to be a time where real questions could be asked and real answers could be given.

We divided the questions up between each of the three of us on the panel. One of the questions that was given to me to answer was:

What are some tips for getting over and dealing with the pain of a break-up?

"How do I answer that?" I thought. I often joke with many of my friends that when I'm not in a relationship I become this "relationship expert" and can give all kinds of good advice about dating and relationships. Although I know when I'm the one in the midst of a relationship, I haven't always followed my own advice.

I could think of plenty of things that I did to deal with a break-up, however when I look back I'm not convinced they were all the best things. As much as I would like to pretend they were...the reality is that they were not. But I learned A LOT through it. A LOT.

So I basically broke my thoughts down into four parts. Tips for dealing with a break-up...

1. Allow Time - This is one area I failed in. I didn't allow enough time for myself to heal or for the reality of things to set in. Even though I knew the relationship wasn't working, for whatever reason I still wanted it. And I had to ask myself the question, "Why do I keep wanting "it" when "it" isn't working?" I came to my own conclusions to that question, and had to acknowledge certain things and in the end simply needed time to get up, let go and look ahead.

2. Find People - I'm not talking about a rebound person. I'm talking about those people who will sit with you as you process ALL of your feelings out loud. Someone who will listen to you on the phone talk about the same things twenty different times. Those people who will change their weekend schedule for you, so that you're not left sitting home by yourself alone with all of your thoughts. Those people who can give you insight from an outsiders perspective, who won't bash the guy over and over again, but will be honest with you and tell you those things that you may not want to hear, but in reality, need to hear.

3. Acknowledge that there is a purpose for it all - This one can be really hard, because often the reasons and purposes for why things happen in life can't be seen right away, or even shortly down the road. Sometimes the road to understanding is a long one. I had to cling to this idea a lot as I reminded myself that I needed to stop making my own decisions and allow myself to rest in knowing that God sees and understands FAR more then I do, or ever will.

4. Maintain your integrity - We all have things we could say or share that could make the other person look really bad. But why? There's no reason to and when we do that, it's often a reflection of our self. I really believe that a person's character isn't determined by their actions, but by their reactions to the difficulties and pain that life brings...

Although I broke it down into 4 clear cut parts, the bottom line still remains that break-ups can suck. They hurt. A lot sometimes. But although a broken relationship can influence a person greatly, it shouldn't define who they become or how they view relationships from that point on. I've seen first hand what can happen when a person holds on to past hurts and pains and doesn't allow themselves time to acknowledge it all and heal. And I'm not saying it's easy...but it's necessary.

And I would like to make the disclaimer again, that I am by no means a relational expert. Some of these things I've had to learn the hard way myself...

Life Update...

2009-02-26T23:28:00.000-08:00

Wow. Where to begin. I feel like more has happened in the past two months then almost all of last year....!

--Turned in all of my grad paperwork to Fresno State and am planning to start my master's in Marriage and Family Therapy this fall. No idea what it will all look like yet because I'm still planning on working full time and going to school part time for now. So I took the first step and got all of my paperwork in. And so begins the start of a new chapter in my life...

--A lot has been going on at work, as many of you have read in the Fresno Bee about the layoffs and salary reductions affecting various people at the university. It hasn't been easy for anyone. I've been trying to keep perspective and focus more on my job of working alongside and coming alongside students rather then dabbling in all the politics... As staff reductions have taken place, there is still the same amount of work to be done but now with less people. This has made everyone have more work and in some cases some have been given two jobs to cover. Needless to say, things can be stressful at times.

--My grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer again after being free from it for over 10 years. "It doesn't look too good honey" are the words that continually ring in my head. She had a double mastectomy on Monday and received her test results on Tuesday showing that even after the surgery, the cancer was still present in her body and had spread. There are no adequate words to describe the deep sadness that has been in my heart since hearing the news. It's hard. Very hard at times.

Many of you know I am incredibly close to both my grandma and grandpa. I often think of the time I spend with them like a mini retreat as I glean wisdom from them and am continually encouraged by them in all I do. They have been my rock through a lot of life's pain.

I think those are the three main things that have taken up most, if not all, of my mental and emotional energy as of lately.

Through it all I am reminded of how blessed I am to have people in my life who walk alongside me and love me deeply. And God is using each of these things to teach me more about myself and more about Him and His faithfulness to me.

Romans 5:3-5 has remained a constant in my mind "...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us..."

Hope does not disappoint us. Everything and everyone else in our life will. He, the giver of true hope, won't. Ever.

Many of you reading this have been the ones walking alongside me through all of this. And thank you will never be enough. But thank you. And unfortunately, I think there is still a lot of walking to be done on this road. But keep walking I will. Only by His grace.

Coming Soon...

2009-02-25T13:46:00.001-08:00

A life update. Be prepared...life has been busy! For now I'll leave you with this quote...

"I can sum up everything I've learned about life in three words...it goes on."

I thought he was taking a picture...

2009-02-14T11:46:00.000-08:00

This is just one of the many videos Lisa, Derek and I took on our trip to the east coast this past summer. Here, we are having lunch (that's a pickle I'm eating) and waiting in the airport... It's amazing the things that happen when we're bored... Good times...

Jen, who does Joaquin Phoenix remind you of...?

2009-02-12T19:13:00.000-08:00

Don't let me down now... :) This is a funny clip (and I owe Eric the credit--I swiped it from his blog!)

Finish The Sentence...

2009-02-12T08:51:00.000-08:00

Finish the sentence...

I don't know... what tomorrow will bring.

I talk... under my breath sometimes and yes, when I'm tired, I mumble.

I love...good dark chocolate and taking a nap on a rainy day.

My best friend... is really funny when she wakes up in the morning or from a nap. And she gives really good hugs. Oh and she has a fetish with a certain kind of shoe...

My first real kiss... made me really really nervous.

I hate it when people... don't listen or assume they know what I'm saying when I haven't finished talking.

Love is... worth it.

Marriage is... "you before me".

Somewhere, someone is thinking... how am I going to pay my bills?

I'll always... be afraid of hippos.

The last time I cried was because... of a few different things that all added up. When it rains it pours.

My cell phone... rings a lot

When I wake up in the morning... I stretch my legs and touch my toes before getting out of bed.

Before I go to sleep at night... I like to do Sukoku (or Su-do-key) as my mom calls it :)

Right now I am thinking about... how not having a gallbladder isn't fun sometimes.

Babies are... a miracle.

Yesterday I... had a lot of meetings that revolved around Starbucks or food. I'm not saying this is a bad thing...

Tonight I will... see what comes!

Tomorrow I will... work and hang out with my grandparents.

I really want... to be a radio DJ someday.

I was a jerk...

2009-02-09T00:15:00.000-08:00

This afternoon I was driving down Kings Canyon avenue and there was a car in front of me going REALLY slow.

We're talking 5-10 mph under the speed limit kind of slow. I wasn't in a huge hurry, but I really didn't like the slow pace she was setting.

We approached a red light and I stopped behind her. I was annoyed and was trying not to think about it so I turned up my music and started singing along. The light turned green and she started to go, so naturally, I also began to accelerate.

Then she suddenly brakes and decides to just stop. She stopped and just sat there while the light was green. Needless to say after following this slow car for a while and then having her stop right in front of me, I was pretty annoyed.

So I honked. And I can't lie, I kinda sorta laid on the horn...only for like 3-4 seconds (please note this is me now trying to justify my honking...)

I could see her stare at me through her rear view mirror.

I finally had the bright idea to turn my music down and then I heard it...

The sirens from the approaching ambulance.

That's why she stopped. She wasn't being a dumb driver. She was obeying the law. I was the dumb driver.

Like I said, I was a jerk.

So to the lady that I unnecessarily honked at, if you're reading this....I'm sorry.

Please forgive me. I was a jerk.

This has been on my mind a lot lately...

2009-02-05T20:47:00.000-08:00

"Don't doubt in the darkness what you know to be true in the light"

As I heard this quote, it resounded with truth. It's always easy to question the truth when we find our self in darkness or going through dark times. Although when life appears to be "on track" and things seem to be going well, we usually don't question the truth that we must cling to, when we're standing in the light.

As I heard this quote, it reminded me all the more how important it is to cling to the truth that God is unchanging and although situations change, and people change and relationships change and circumstances change and LIFE changes, HE doesn't change.

Ever.

25 Things About Me...

2009-01-31T23:15:00.000-08:00

1. I don’t eat any pork products. No sausage, no ham, no bacon. This isn’t for any religious reason, but mainly because the thought of eating a pig grosses me out.

2. Having the volume up really loud on a TV is super annoying to me.

3. I don’t look in the mirror when I brush my teeth.

4. All of my jobs have involved working for non-profits.

5. I could watch Food Network all day. No joke.

6. I will be attending 13 weddings this year. And there could still be more to come…

7. My grandma and grandpa have been married for 65 years. If I got married today I would need to live till I was 89 to accomplish that…

8. My brother has a way of calming me down when I’m really upset like no one else.

9. Jen (my best friend) and I went and had pictures taken together at a studio when we were 13. I just found one of those pictures the other day… Too funny. And no we didn’t have neon butterflies as a backdrop…

10. I love to people watch. And yes, I do it a lot.

11. I am trying to learn how to listen better. I often find myself trying to do multiple things while someone is talking to me and then I’m not fully listening to them.

12. I wish I was on a sleep schedule. I would love to go to bed at 11pm and wake up around 7am everyday. I feel like a new person when I do this consistently.

13. I’m determined to live in San Diego one day.

14. When I’m thinking or pondering something, I play with my eyelashes.

15. I would classify myself as a pretty sound sleeper. I can sleep through a lot. I think after living on a college campus for 6 years now, I’ve had to learn how to do this.

16. No matter what time of year it is, my hands are usually cold. And I get cold really really easily. In the summer, if Derek and I are in a car together, he will turn on the air FULL BLAST but I would prefer to sit in the warm car for a minute and soak up the sun.

17. I have officially converted to Mac…and I love it.

18. I love my grandparents more then words can express. I see them every week and often choose to hang out with them over meeting up with friends. Not because I feel obligated to, but because I have fun with them. My grandpa is 89 and my grandma is 84. I hope to have wisdom like they posses one day…

19. I like to sing along to songs or even make up my own songs to sing… And I sing at random times…

20. I have been to professional baseball and basketball games and want to go to a pro football game sometime.

21. I love the smell of a summertime BBQ and the summer night air. There is nothing like it.

22. I’m a lot like my dad…but when people meet my mom they say that I’m just like her. I look like my dad (and take after the Kruse side) but I have traits of my mom’s personality. I’ve come to accept this and appreciate that my mom is such a sweet and loving person and is the most positive person I know.

23. I have a HUGE sweet tooth. HUGE!

24. Whenever my dad and I have serious conversations, we usually always stand in my parent’s kitchen. He always stands leaning against the sink and I always stand leaning against the stove. I don’t know how this started…but it stands true even to this day.

25. My favorite holiday is 4th of July. I love the summer and spending a day hanging out with friends, BBQing and enjoying fireworks at night. This past 4th of July I spent in Washington D.C. with friends watching fireworks coming from the National from the rooftop of an apartment

Obama Smokes...

2009-01-22T23:37:00.000-08:00

I just found this out. And when I was told this, I didn't believe it at first. "He smokes?" I thought. With all of the health information out about the ill effects of smoking, how it causes cancer and leads to so so many health issues that affect both the individual and their family, how could HE smoke?

And then I started thinking about it more, and for some reason, the more I thought about, the more real he became in my mind. He's a person. I mean yeah he is the President of the United States, but beyond that "title" he is a person like you and me. One who has joys, fears, pain and things going on in his personal life that bring him immense joy and things that sadden him to tears.

By no means do I endorse smoking and trust me, I do have my own personal views on the issue, but knowing that he smokes and that he has been trying to quit and wants to quit, reminded me that as he begins to fight political battles in our country and around the world, he is also fighting battles of his own in his personal life....just like you and me are. Daily.

He is a person. That may seem simple, but coming to that understanding was quite profound for me today.

Just a few...

2009-01-19T00:54:00.001-08:00

I haven't really posted many blogs of actual substance lately. I've come to realize, for whatever reason, I tend to post less when I'm thinking more. Strange, I know. It may be because I have so many different thoughts going on in my head, that it's difficult for me to actually put them into words, let alone cohesive sentences.

So, instead of trying to craft a cohesive post, I'm just going to bullet point a few things that have been swirling around in my mind lately...now granted, these are just a few...

0 The idea of seasons has been on my mind a lot lately. Not like the seasons of the weather (although I have LOVED the warm spring like weather we've been having lately!) but more so the seasons of life and what makes up a season and how we transition from one to the next.

0 I've been drinking more water lately and less diet soda and within two weeks I can already see and feel a difference in my body and skin. Many of you know I LOVE Diet Pepsi, so it hasn't been easy...

0 I was looking at my calendar a few nights ago and realized Spring is going to fly by with so many things going on. Between a busy season at work, to weddings, to high school ministry outings, to bridal showers and bachlorette party weekends, there is a lot going on.

0 As of lately I've learned I still have A LOT to learn about myself, others, God and the world as a whole. And come to think of it, I think I will ALWAYS have a lot to learn about these things...

0 At times I've seen myself try and control my life rather then enjoy it. Not only have I wanted to control my own life, but I've wanted to control others, and that never proves helpful to anyone.

0 I am excited to watch the presidential inauguration on Tuesday.

0 One of the houses I house-sit at makes strange noises and scared me more then once. And then my mind started to play tricks on me and I had to remind myself I was being silly. Just plain silly. Many of you would have laughed at me...actually all of you probably would have...

0 I need to love more, pray more, listen more and judge less.

More to come...

And I'm wearing a t-shrit right now...

2009-01-14T13:32:00.000-08:00

MINNEAPOLIS (Jan. 14) – Arctic air extended its grip Wednesday with below-zero temperatures stretching from Montana to northern New England and frost nipping the Gulf Coast. A few ski areas in Vermont and northern Minnesota closed for the day because of the cold — 38 below zero at International Falls, with the wind chill during the night estimated at 50 below. The temperature at Bolton, Vt., was 10 below zero and operators of the Bolton Valley ski resort feared that skiers could freeze if a lift malfunctioned.

And what was the high yesterday here in Fresno? In the 60's? Yeah... Wow.

It's always amazes me

2009-01-12T22:19:00.000-08:00

that there are still states that allow smoking in restaurants. I guess I take for granted the fact that when you walk into a restaurant here in California, you're not greeted by any smoke in the air. The thought of being asked, "Smoking or Non?" always amazes me. This is one thing I am proud California has done and it makes me glad I live in the Golden State.

Nina and Scott...

2009-01-06T23:33:00.001-08:00

are engaged! I COULD NOT be and have not been happier for any other couple. I've been to my fair share of weddings and seen lots of people get married. Nina and Scott have dated for close to 10 years...yes, TEN years and they are now engaged to get married. She told Jen and I tonight, and as you can imagine, there was lots of screaming and giggling and excitement in the air.

Scott and Nina give me hope--well, Jesus gives me hope and I see Jesus in them and in their relationship. They love God and one another deeply. This is one wedding I can't wait for!

And for those of you wondering, Scott won't have that goatee for the wedding :)

I'm sarcastic and I like sarcastic commercials...

2009-01-05T15:29:00.001-08:00

There's truth in this...

A Look Back on 2008... Was 2008 Great??

2009-01-01T01:29:00.000-08:00

1) What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Went to Washington D.C. and New York. Went dancing with Lisa! Found a mouse in my apartment. Moved to a different apartment. Decided on grad school. Visited a prison. Celebrated 12 years of friendship with my BFF. Bought a Wii.

2) Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for 2009?
You know, I don’t really ever make resolutions for New Year’s. I tend to make them all throughout the year. So no, I guess I didn’t make any. Which, in a way, means I didn’t break any…

3) Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yep. A few friends. Two I can think of off the top of my head...

4) Did anyone close to you die?
A former Campus Life student. So, so sad.

5) What countries did you visit?
None! That is no bueno.

6) What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
More of a passion for reading.

7) What date(s) from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
There are a few...and if I listed them here people would ask me why they are etched in my memory, so I'm just not going to list any...

8) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Beginning the grad school process.

9) Did you suffer illness or injury?
Food poisoning. And yep, it really is as bad as people say it is.

10) What was the best thing you bought?
My Wii!

11) Whose behavior merited celebration?
My brother, Nina and Derek all for finishing their last semester of college! May will be a big graduation month!

12) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Well, 2008 was an election year...enough said.

13) Where did most of your money go?
Eating out!

14) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to New York!

15) What song will always remind you of 2008?
Bleeding Love, Chicken Fried and All Summer Long
 
16) Compared to this time last year, are you: Wiser? Oh yeah. I think I've come into a better understanding of life (and myself)... Healthier? Probably about the same. Richer? "Richer"...that word is so subjective...

17) What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I'd read more...

18) What do you wish you'd done less of?
Over thinking certain things. Drinking Diet Pepsi.

19) How did you spend Christmas?
With family. It was a good Christmas. One of the best in quite sometime.
 
20) Did you fall in love in 2008?
Haha. Again, another subjective question :) I am blessed by many people who I love and who love me.

21) What was your favorite blog post that you wrote?
"Words That Change Life" -- It was very thought provoking...at least to me it was!

22) What were your favorite TV programs?
"Jon and Kate Plus 8" and I have to say I did start watching "Oprah" more towards the end of the year oh AND "The Biggest Loser"!!

23) Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate? Such a strong word. Can't say that I do. There are some characteristics of people that I don't like very much, but not people in particular.

24) What was the best book you read?
"Think Pink" (It's a sociology book...what can I say...)

25) What was your greatest musical discovery?
That's easy...The Jonas Brothers!!! Haha...just kidding. I'll have to keep thinking about that one.
 
26) What did you want and get?
Opportunity to travel to new places!
 
27) What did you want and not get?
Opportunity to travel with J.lo
 
28) What was your favorite film of this year?
"Seven Pounds" and "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" both movies I saw within the past two weeks and both had really good underlying messages.
 
29) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Went out to eat a lot...kept the celebration going for at least a week. And I turned 24...

30) Which celebrity/public figure did you like the most?
Tina Fay
 
31) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Not much different than last year.

32) What kept you sane?
Good friends.
 
33) Who did you miss?
Friends who have moved away...or those who got married and fell off the face of the earth.
 
34) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Time goes by fast. Life isn't fair at times. Listen to "that" feeling...you know what feeling...when I did, I was glad I did and when I didn't, I regretted it...

35) What did you gain this year?
More self awareness
 
36) What did you lose this year?
A few pounds
 
37) Who was the best new person you met?
Some of the freshmen women at FPU 

38) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
You cant hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
Its a game of give and take

You cant hurry love
No, you just have to wait
You got to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes

Here's to '09...

Steph's Engagement Brunch

2008-12-28T14:47:00.000-08:00

Today I went to Mimi's to meet up with Steph and a few of her other friends for an engagement/birthday/celebrate Steph brunch :) The food was good and the laughter was flowing. Come April 18th, Steph is going to be a married woman, but I must say her fiancee, Blake, is a great guy and they are a lot of fun together! Oh and I got to see Stacey, who I backpacked Europe with about four years ago, but I hadn't seen her in probably over a year...so that was really nice too!

And people laugh when I say I'm scared of hippos...

2008-12-23T11:24:00.000-08:00

Gingerbread House Making Extravaganza!

2008-12-17T21:31:00.000-08:00

Tonight Dani, Mallorie and I decided to construct our very own gingerbread house complete with gingerbread people (I say "people" because we're not sure if they are boys or girls... :) We had a lot of fun, got icing all over us (okay, I got icing all over ME and we had only a few minor "the house is falling down" moments. If you've never made a gingerbread house, well you haven't truly lived until you have! And I suggest the Costco boxed gingerbread houses...so SO much easier...and they come with everything you need. Here are a few pictures of the process and our finished product!

Notice the icing ALL over my sleeve...

2 of the 13

2008-12-15T00:03:00.000-08:00

Below are 2 of the 13 paradigm shifts Donald Miller talks about that he encountered when doing Christian ministry in a pagan environment...

1. Nobody will listen to you unless they know you like them: We began to understand that people, subconsciously, merit a religious or philosophical idea not on logical conclusions, but on whether or not the idea creates a “good person”…the definition of a good person being whether or not a person is kind to them, tolerant and understanding, able to listen without arguing and so on.

2. Nobody will listen to God unless they know God loves them: We came to believe there was usually a hidden pain behind hostility, that many people have been hurt by the church, or people or perspectives they believed to represent God. Many times its as simple as an interview they saw on CNN, but an apology and kindness went a long way in helping people understand God was loving.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what makes a person "good" or "bad" in reference to how people describe others. I think describing someone as "good" or "bad" is obviously completley subjective, and I often question what I really mean when I say it.

I've also been thinking a lot lately about who I'm intentionally investing into that aren't followers of Christ. I truly believe that as followers of Christ it is vital to make sure we're "doing life" (that was for you Jen :) with those who don't know Christ yet. This can obviously look differently for everyone, but this is something I try to continually remind myself the importance of, because of where I work and live, it would be incredibly easy to get comfortable in my faith and settle for mediocre living.

And I really don't want to do that...

My Christmas Gift to You...

2008-12-14T11:11:00.000-08:00

If you're looking for a few good Christmas songs to add to your iTunes library this holiday season, then HERE YOU GO... A free gift to you from me...well, not really from me...I'm just the messenger...

I went to Fresno Pacific with Gene, where we both served as RAs together. And Luke, well, I met him and his wife, Sarah, through mutual friends we share. Both are great guys with a passion for music and a heart for the Lord--and that's evident in these songs. Enjoy and Merry Christmas!!

"Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down..."

2008-12-08T18:27:00.000-08:00

I like Will Smith. I think he is a really good actor. He was chosen as number 10 on Barbara Walter's "10 Most Fascinating People of 2008". I watched this clip and really like what he had to say about marriage. Now, I'm not married, so my personal experience is non existent when it comes to this topic, however, it seems there is a lot truth in the words he spoke regarding marriage...

"Being married is the most difficult thing you're ever gonna do in your life ever. Anybody who is married and divorce is an option...you're getting divorced."

Here's the whole clip if you're interested...

Hope, Hope and More Hope...

2008-12-04T16:31:00.000-08:00

"My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus’ blood and righteousness, I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus’ name."

I'm reminded more and more how necessary it is to have hope. And not just hope in anything, but hope in Jesus. In Him and Him alone.

"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us..." Romans 5:2-5b

Christmas must be here...

2008-12-01T16:58:00.000-08:00

because I've eaten FOUR sugar cookies today... I better start pacing myself...! But I must say I make some mean sugar cookies with homemade icing...and red sprinkles of course.

A few reasons why I love my mom...

2008-11-30T23:23:00.000-08:00

1. She waves at people with her index finger

2. She calls everyone her "friend". "I was at Rite Aid the other day and my little friend Lucy was working...."

3. She calls people "fart heads"

4. She doesn't kill insects...she sets them "free" outside.

5. She defends other people and makes up stories for them... I would say, "Mom, that person just cut me off in traffic..." And she would say, "Well honey they're probably having a bad day. Maybe their boyfriend just broke up with them...you never know..."

These are only five of the many reasons why I love my mom...

Thankful for Thanksgiving...

2008-11-30T10:19:00.000-08:00

This year Thanksgiving was filled with family, good food, and Wii! We bowled, boxed, played doubles on Tennis and had a great time. Of course my brother HAD to win at everything we played, but I would just like to say I held my own in Mario...

I am thankful for Thanksgiving and for family to share it with. The Thanksgiving break was also filled with meals with other good friends, including a "Three Hot Chica" reunion night at Starbucks (that would be Jen, Nina and myself). It was good for the soul.

On Saturday Derek and I went for a brisk walk at Woodward park (it was a BEAUTIFUL morning and we were planning to just meet up at the gym, but once I walked outside and saw how beautiful it was, I knew I couldn't be stuck indoors on treadmill...yuck...) And apparently the High School Cross Country National Championship...or something like that...was taking place at Woodward, so there were a TON of people there. We dodged all of them and took a trail away from all the people. Unbeknownst to us, we walked longer then we set out to...but a little extra walking never hurt anyone...except Derek's hip :(

The Thanksgiving weekend is coming to a close, but that means Christmas is just around the corner...!

Bon Qui Qui...

2008-11-26T16:01:00.000-08:00

You may have seen this before, but if you haven't, you should watch it.... Super funny stuff...

Mr and Mrs. Andrew DeWitt...

2008-11-24T09:57:00.000-08:00

So, I've been told I've had too many "wedding posts"... And I'm trying to cut back...but here's just one more...

Steph and Drew got married this weekend in Napa, CA. First off, it is BEAUTIFUL there. It was a really fun day and a super fun reception with good food, good wine and dancing! I feel like I say this a lot, but it's true...Steph and Drew make a great team and both love God and love people in very real ways. It was great to be able to be a part of their special day with them. Enjoy a few pics...

I caught the bouquet and the best man, Daniel, caught the garter... haha...

Happy Birthday Derek!

2008-11-22T08:00:00.000-08:00

Today marks the day that Mr. Derek Abbott is officially a quarter of a century old. We celebrated last weekend (because I am out of town for a wedding right now) but his fingers show how old he is...

Happy Birthday D! Hope it is wonderful (well as wonderful as it can be without having me there with you to celebrate :) And remember, age is nothin' but a number!

Mars and Venus...Men and Women...

2008-11-20T09:23:00.000-08:00

A friend sent this too me and I have to say, it made me laugh. Just a reminder of how differently God created men and women... To the men who read this blog, I hope you enjoy this and for the women, hopefully you'll get some laughs too...

We always hear 'the rules' from the female side ...Now here are the rules from the male side.

Man Rules:

Please note, these are all numbered '1 ON PURPOSE...

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports - It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Please just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying,

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

The Future Mr. and Mrs. Art Negrete

2008-11-16T15:25:00.001-08:00

It's official as of yesterday!

What are the odds...

2008-11-09T21:41:00.001-08:00

Check out Dani and Mallorie's blog for the full story...

Really, what were the odds...!

We Need One Another...

2008-11-05T22:46:00.000-08:00

I thought both Obama and McCain's speeches were phenomenal. I've watched both of them quite a few times. For the first time during this entire season of campaigning I saw grace and dignity from both parties. Whatever our differences, we do need one another...

And I agree, "Yes we can"...and it's only by God's grace and because of God's grace that we can...

"A little bit earlier this evening, I received an extraordinarily gracious call from Senator McCain. Senator McCain fought long and hard in this campaign. And he’s fought even longer and harder for the country that he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine. We are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader. I congratulate him; I congratulate Governor Palin for all that they’ve achieved. And I look forward to working with them to renew this nation’s promise in the months ahead.

For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime — two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century. Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us.

But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you, we as a people will get there.

And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn, I may not have won your vote tonight, but I hear your voices. I need your help. And I will be your president, too."

"I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our good will and earnest effort to find ways to come together to find the necessary compromises to bridge our differences and help restore our prosperity, defend our security in a dangerous world, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger, better country than we inherited. Whatever our differences, we are fellow Americans. And please believe me when I say no association has ever meant more to me than that."

Today, I was a candidate for the highest office in the country I love so much. And tonight, I remain her servant. That is blessing enough for anyone,

I wish Godspeed to the man who was my former opponent and will be my president. And I call on all Americans, as I have often in this campaign, to not despair of our present difficulties, but to believe, always, in the promise and greatness of America, because nothing is inevitable here.

Americans never quit. We never surrender.

We never hide from history. We make history.

Mr. President Elect...

2008-11-05T00:21:00.001-08:00

I am SO glad this election is over. I'm sure both Obama and McCain are too.

Oh How Time Goes By

2008-11-02T23:28:00.000-08:00

The picture above is of my two brothers. Okay, technically I only have one brother, Tim (on the right) and Brandon (on the left) is Tim's best friend. They've been friends for over 20 years now...since they were about 5 years old. Tim and I are two years apart, so I was about 3 years old when they became friends, so really, I've grown up with both of them as my brothers.

We, along with a few other kids always did stuff together. In our neighborhood would play cops and robbers, baseball in the front yard, (using both trees and sprinkler heads as our bases), football in the street, Royal Rumble on Sega Gensis, have water ballon fights, play catch and "pickle" with the baseball in the backyard, walk to the near-by convenience store and stock up on way too much candy and soda, and at the end of each summer we would walk together to school to check the posting to see what teacher we had for the upcoming year.

Lots and LOTS of memories. I just found out tonight Brandon is engaged. His fiancee Jessica is a wonderful girl--I really like her. She's real...and funny. They haven't set a date yet, but today my brother jokingly said, "Yeah, you might be invited to the wedding..." To which I responded, "Trust me, I've been to plenty of weddings and this will be one I will surely crash if I'm not invited...!"

Congrats Brandon and Jess! Oh how time goes by...

I Voted

2008-10-30T15:57:00.000-07:00

I think this has been one of the most heated election seasons by far. With the uniquness of the presidetial candidates and all of the campaign and propostion ads that infiltrate our lives (through tv, radio, email, news commentaries, campaign signs on the street, etc...) this has been an interesting (and in many ways dishearetning) season to say the least.

I've heard lots of coversations and arguments, watched too many campaign commercials and read too many inappropriate email and Facebook comments/debates.

I voted absentee so my vote has been cast. I have lots of friends whose political ideas and convictions fall ALL over the board. I didn't vote soley in one direction (Rebuplican or Democrat) but rather, I looked at both sides, prayed (a lot) and voted based upon as much truth as I could find.

Some would be appalled at what/who I voted for. And that's okay. I don't claim to know it all but I do know that I refuse to let how I voted be a dividing force or factor in relationships. Period.

At the end of the day, I know this: God is soverign and He is not surprised by what has happened or what will happen.

He see. He knows. He understands.

I do not see all. I do not know all. I do not understand all.

I really feel that how one lives and treats people on Novemeber 3rd and 5th is more important then how one votes on November 4th...

25 things to do before I'm 25

2008-10-24T22:56:00.000-07:00

In light of my recent birthday resulting in me turning 24...the start of my "mid-twenties" I decided to make a list of 25 things I want to do in the next 364 days. Some of these things I've done before, but I put them down because I want to be sure to do them again. Here we go...

1. Be in a graduate program and on my way to getting a MS in Counseling.
2. Visit Boston
3. Go sky diving
4. Read More
5. Visit my brother and go to a Dodger game with him
6. Visit Dave and Heather in Oregon
7. Open a Roth IRA
8. Go camping with my dad
9. Go camping with Jen and Derek again :)
10. Sing kareoke with Jen
11. Set Dani and Mallorie up on a blind date
12. Visit another country
13. Host a formal dinner party (with Jen of course...I wouldn't be foolish enough to try that on my own)
14. Learn a choreographed dance
15. Turn off my cell phone for a day
16. Learn how to make my Grandma's chicken noodle soup
17. Take my mom on a surprise trip
18. Go out on a date on Valentine's Day
19. Sing really loud in the car
20. Laugh so hard I cry
21. Drink less diet pepsi
22. Make a pie from scratch
23. Write more
24. Listen more
25. Love more...

Comfortable Pain

2008-10-20T21:00:00.000-07:00

A little excerpt from my weekly writings to women on campus...not the whole thing this time, but a piece of it...

"But there is hope in the midst of our sin. There is hope when we slip and fall in life. And often when we slip up, we fall and we fall hard. But Jesus is in the business of restoring us. Restoring us back to Him and back to one another. We are imperfect people by nature—we are going to mess up. Although no matter how many times we fall, Jesus extends grace to us and continues to pursue us in the midst of our messiness.

The process of getting up might be painful—we may have to change things or habits in our life that we’re comfortable in. As humans, we don’t like pain and we seek comfort, so although it may seem strange, there is sometimes comfort associated with pain. Even though something might be painful, at least the pain is familiar. Think about it…how many times have you continued a habit or a relationship not because you necessarily liked what it did or thought it was best, but simply because it was what you were used to—it was familiar…it was comfortable…

Jesus is the only one who can bring true healing and hope to situations that seem hopeless. In the midst of our pain (whether we’re comfortable in it or not) He desires to do a work in us where He restores us back to Him and relentlessly pursues us so that we may experience life and life abundantly in Him …"
I really enjoy writing these, because I feel that the Lord speaks to me through them too... I'm grateful that Jesus is in the business of restoring people back to Him...restoring me...restoring you...and He doesn't give up on us...ever...

"He is worthy of my praise – even in the midst of intense grief..."

2008-10-18T13:31:00.001-07:00

I can only hope if I was in their situation, my faith would remain as strong as their's... This is what my cousin Dave posted on his blog...

"It is moments like this that truly cause you to reflect on your faith.

Thursday morning Melissa and I found out we lost our daughter. 6 weeks from her entering the world and we find out that her life has ended. We are devastated. The thought of holding her, enjoying her smile and laugh, discovering her personality and the ways God gifted her are no longer possible. Instead we are left with tons of questions, many of which I do not think we will ever have satisfactorily answered.

The doctor cannot tell us why she died. It probably has something to with the cord. He did say it was nothing Melissa did or experienced. He also said 1 in 400 people go through this, we are part of the 1. On Tuesday, he will induce labor and Melissa will spend one night in the hospital in New Albany, MS. The doctor will run a few test to try and determine what happened in the womb. We are tentatively planning a grave side service Thursday morning in Pontotoc, MS.

Several people have said they want to do something but don’t know what. I’d like to share a few things with anyone interested. Please know that this is difficult. Not just for us but for anyone trying to express how they feel. If you don’t know what to say, that is ok. A hug in silence is meaningful. This also will not be something we (we being anyone affected by this) will deal with in a week. It will take time to work through the emotions and questions we have. Thank you in advance for the love, encouragement and patience you will provide in those times. Prayer is a great thing. If nothing else please pray for us, our families, our friends, the youth group we are so privileged to minister to and others who are affected by this.

I could type all day about how we feel or the questions we have I share this and then head back to be with family. Right now we are like Job. We are unsure of why this has happened. We have questions for God. But I know that God is bigger than this and for whatever reason we are going through this, He is worthy of my praise – even in the midst of intense grief. I know that my little girl is before Him right now, praising Him. That is comforting in some small way. God is giving us peace and I look forward to the day we can rise from mourning and grieving."

It's Always Exciting...

2008-10-18T01:01:00.000-07:00

when a friend gets engaged. Well, it happened again tonight...This beautiful woman is officially off the market...sorry fellas. I received a text tonight around 10pm..."MORGAN PROPOSED...!" Not only is Mariana a dear friend but she was also my college roommate for two years... Congrats Morgan and Mariana! I'm excited for what the Lord has in store for you guys!