Paradigm Shift...

Today one of my former high school students (who was highly involved in Youth For Christ when I served there) came into my office. She is attending FPU next year, which she is quite excited about as am I! She just got back from spending 10 months in Portugal doing ministry while working with missionaries. We chatted for about 25 minutes and in that time I could tell the things she did and experienced completely changed her worldview and broadened her understanding of herself and others.

As she and I talked, I was reminded of two things:

1. God is at work outside of Fresno, outside of California and outside of the United States. I've learned on a bad day I have the tendency to become so self focused--sometimes missing the point that there is SO much outside of what I know and experience.

2. God is at work in Fresno, in California and within the United States. In the same way I can miss seeing all that God is doing around the world, I can also miss what God is doing in my midst...and in my life...and in my job and ministry...and all around me...

Thank you Katy for helping me remember these things.

Ah...Memories...

I recently bought a new CD that has a bunch of old hymns that have been modernized/contemporized in different ways. I LOVE this CD. It brings back memories from the church I went to growing up.

Although growing up I always thought singing hymns was boring (especially when we sang them so slow!) but there is such deep rooted meaning in the lyrics, that I have now come to see how valuable they really are.

One of my favorite songs on the CD is "Joyful Joyful". Every time I listen to it, I think of my dear friend and mentor, Jamie and I think of a bunch of kids in a large sanctuary singing their hearts out at VBS.

Both such good, good memories.

And I think of Jen and me teaching kindergarten for a class full of 4-5 year olds...

Now that is a really good memory too! I can't help but smile and laugh when I think of that one!

Do You Ever Feel This Way...

I just read this today on Post Secret.

I feel this way right now...and although new things can be scary, they can be incredbily exciting at the same time.

And I have no idea what "new" thing might be coming my way...maybe it's something small...or something big...but I feel that God is calling me to trust Him and Him alone...

Never A Dull Moment With My Brother...

My phone rang last night (or I should say this morning) about 1:10am. Whenever my phone rings after midnight my stomach drops a little because usually calls coming in that late are not good. Here's our conversation:

Me: Hello

Tim: Becky? Are you sleeping?

Me: No I'm awake, what's up? Are you okay?

Tim: Yeah, I'm fine. I just have a question for you.

Me: Okay...

Tim: I need you to tell me on the TV show "Full House" who is the one who always says "How rude!" Was it Michelle or Stephanie?

Me: Seriously? I think Stephanie started saying it and then Michelle would copy her.

Tim: Oh okay, I thought it was Michelle, but I think you're right...it was Stephanie. Joaquin (his roommate) and I were just talking about it and we figured you would know this kind of thing. Thanks Bec!

Me: Sure...

Tim: Love ya sis. I'll give you a call tomorrow to catch up.

Me: Love you too.

Yeah...that's my brother...I'm just glad I was legitimately awake when he called, otherwise I probably wouldn't have been as helpful...or as nice...

Courtney Is Engaged!

Courtney and Drew are officially engaged! I was sitting in a meeting this afternoon and I looked at my phone and saw Courtney was calling and instantly thought to myself "She's engaged!"

Courtney and I went to Fresno Pacific together all four years and we lived together in a house our senior year. She is a dear friend with an absolutely beautiful heart. I am so excited for them!

Do You Dance In Your Bed?

I've been at the hospital with my mom for the past few days as she recovered after having her thyroid removed. All went well and her recovery is going smoothly.

I think the highlight of my time at the hospital (besides eating sphagetti for dinner with Jen in the cafeteria) was my mom's roommate, Mrs. Anderson. She shared a room with my mom and didn't have too many visitors, so I would help her if she needed small things (more water poured, another blanket, etc...).

Mrs. Anderson was in her late 80's and legally blind so that made things all the harder for her.

My heart smiled when I overheard this conversation she had with one of the nurses...

Nurse: Mrs. Anderson, your sheets are all tangled up. Have you been dancing in bed?

Mrs. Anderson: No ma'am I haven't been dancing in bed, but one day I'm going to be dancing in heaven.

You are right Mrs. Anderson...you are so very right...

Did You Know...

1. My first karaoke debut was to the song "Baby Got Back".

2. I play with my eyelashes when I'm thinking hard...or stressed.

3. My bedroom is usually messy...I wish it weren't so...but on any given day you will find clothes strewn across the room.

4. I could eat blackberries and strawberries for days and not get sick of them.

5. When Jen and I go on walks we sometimes pretend there is hot lava all around us and we have to jump around it to save ourselves. Oh you know we have fun...! And sorry, our walks are pretty exclusive, though we may allow for occasional guests from time to time...

Did you know all that?

Happy 115th Birthday!

Can you imagine living to be 115 years old? This woman, Edna Parker, is recognized by Guinness World Records as the world's oldest known person. She was born on April 20,1883. On Friday, Edna laughed and smiled as relatives and guests released 115 balloons into sunny skies outside her nursing home. Dressed in pearls, a blue and white polka dot dress and new white shoes, she clutched a red rose during the festivities.

You better believe she deserved to get some new white shoes for her 115th birthday party!

Wow. If I live to be 115 years old that means I have 92 more years to go...!

Donald Miller is Coming!!!

That's right...this Thursday...at FPU. I have my ticket in my hand. Can't wait!

Best Prank of the Year...

Check out Dani and Mallorie's blog for full details. It was planned out and executed quite well. I was impressed!

Thoughts From The Throne

Another new adition and only two more left for the school year! Enjoy!

I love life. Well, I should say I love most things about my life, though I don’t always love everything that happens in life…but all in all…I love life.

And I love that there are seasons to life. Just like the weather changes season (except when you live in Fresno and it’s 94 degrees in April…what’s up with that?) so life has seasons. Some seasons are bright, sunny, radiating beauty and goodness. Other seasons are dreary, raining (maybe pouring) and dark. But whether good or bad, nonetheless there are seasons. And seasons change.

Think back to August…the first week of school. You may not have known very many people and you may have been new to Fresno all together. August seems like such a long time ago. Many of you would probably say, “So much has changed in this past year…” You have most likely met new people, had new experiences (maybe both good and bad) and have had opportunities to be involved in the community at FPU.

It’s amazing what happens when you take time to reflect on the year as a whole. It’s often comical to think back to who you were 8 months ago—life happens and people change. It’s always encouraging when one can look back and see growth in their life for the good. Although, I also recognize some of you may look back and see that you’ve become someone you never wanted or expected to be. Or maybe you’ve made small changes that have started you on a path that you know will only continue to lead you further in the wrong direction.

Even though life can get crazy and seasons can turn from bright and sunny to dark and dreary in a matter of a day, God isn’t surprised by what’s happening. He knows you. And I mean He really knows you. I’ll be the first to admit that even though I follow Christ I still mess up. And often it’s not pretty. I’m beginning to learn more and more that it’s through the difficult seasons of life that I learn and grow the most. I’ve learned more through seasons of pain and heart ache then I have in my seasons of rejoicing.

Even as we follow Christ it’s made known that it isn’t that we are perfect now or that we will never have to struggle again, but rather when we do struggle we can look and cling to a God who is constantly wanting to restore us back to Him and grow in us an understanding of his deep love and grace.

And I wish that growth process didn’t hurt so much sometimes. Often trying to go around difficult or painful situations is a whole lot easier then going through them. But something happens when you face life head on and enter into what may be a difficult season clinging to God’s promise that He will walk with you through it.

Just as the seasons are about to change, so I am also changing and I hope you are too. Change can be incredibly scary but indescribably good at the same time.

Until Next Week…

You...Me...Wii...!

That's right folks...I bought a Wii! It's super fun and I'm developing some mad skills on it. If you haven't played Wii...you need to. And it's not just another video game...it can be a legitimate work out! The boxing game on there makes your arms burn after a while!

I bought the Wii after Dani and Mallorie put one on hold for me at Wal-Mart. It was only on hold for an hour so I had to decide quick if I wanted to buy it. I bought it and I haven't looked back. I'm very happy with my decision!

You...Me...Wii??

Book Recommendations...

If you could recommend one book that was really impactful or insightful for you what would you recommend?

As always, there is a reason for this...and I'll let you know in a few days. I'd love to hear your recommendations though. Thanks in advance...!

Problems and Pain

I'm reading a new book right now that I bought at the MCC Sale for $1 titled: The Road Less Traveled and I thought I would share a little snippet of it with ya'll...

"Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we truly understand and accept it--then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.

Life is a series of problems. What makes life difficult is that the process of confronting and solving problems is a painful one. Problems, depending upon their nature, evoke in us frustration or grief or sadness or loneliness or guilt or regret or anger or fear or anxiety or anguish or despair. These are uncomfortable feelings, often very uncomfortable, often as painful as any kind of physical pain, sometimes equaling the very worst kind of physical pain.

And since life poses an endless series of problems, life is always difficult and is full of pain as well as joy.

Yet it is in this whole process of meeting and solving problems that life has its meaning. It is only because of problems that we grow mentally and spiritually. When we desire to encourage the growth of the human spirit, we challenge and encourage the human capacity to solve problems, just as in school we deliberately set problems for children to solve."

This part really resonated with me...

"Fearing the pain involved, almost all of us, to a greater or lesser degree, attempt to avoid problems. We procrastinate, hoping that they will go away. We ignore them, forget them, pretend they do not exist. We even take drugs to assist us in ignoring them, so that by deadening ourselves to the pain we can forget the problems that cause the pain. We attempt to skirt around problems rather then meet them head on. We attempt to get out of them rather than suffer through them..."

Bye Bye Digital Camera

I received a new digital camera as a Christmas gift from my parents this past Christmas. I loved it. It was exactly what I wanted and perfect for what I was going to be using it for--taking a ton of pictures.

But this past Tuesday my camera went missing after I set it down on the bleachers in the gym at school. I went to get it from where I set it down...and it was gone.

Some say it's just misplaced, others say it was just plain stolen...I'm not sure what to say, except I hope to get it back someway...somehow!

And though I really liked the camera, I'm the most saddened about losing all the pictures I had on there...that I had not yet downloaded on my computer...just about 200 of them from December to the present.

Major bummer.

So if you are an FPUer and know or hear of anything...I would love to get my camera back! Thanks.

RA (Raw) Heat and RA (Raw) Power...

FPU Dodgeball Tournament. This past Tuesday night. 8pm. Our two teams (RA Heat and RA Power) rocked it.

Okay, I should say my RAs rocked it. No, we didn't make it to the championships, but we looked dang good in the shirts we made and the socks we wore. Please note the shirts and socks in this picture. Not everyone was able to make it so in this picture we're missing three and there is one special guest added in. All in all a very fun night. I am so down to play again...!

Oh and you know we had an hour practice the morning of complete with throwing and dodging drills. We were so hard core. I love these ladies. Oh, and just as a disclaimer, I have no idea what I'm doing in the second picture...no idea.

I'm Hooked

It's true. I borrowed season one of "One Tree Hill" from Dani and Mallorie and I'm hooked. I'm embarressed to say how many episodes I watched this weekend...but it was quite a few. It's a good show and now I understand what so many people have talked about for so long.

Now Jen don't go rolling your eyes just yet...watch a few episodes and I can pretty much guarantee you'll be hooked too...

When You Reach That Level...

I love when you reach the level with people where you can start joking/making fun of them. You know what I mean. When you reach a certain comfort level where you can banter back and forth about any given thing all in good fun.

Today was a long day. A very long day. And I can pretty much say with confidence that this day would have seemed a whole heck of a lot longer if I did not have great (and fun!) co-workers. Kimi, Dave and I work really well together--and we've reached that level with one another where we can joke around and make fun of one another all in good fun.

There was one time today when both Dave and Kimi were mocking me and I couldn't stop laughing. I love this about my job.

And it gets even better when Pam jumps into the mix!

Today was a long day--but I work with some amazing people and even when one of us has a "bad" day we love one another through it.

And know it's time for me to leave my office and go to bed...

You Really Never Know...

A student recently wrote this to me...

"you have been speakin to me everytime you send one of the TFTT (Thoughts From the Throne) out.....u have helped me through alot of stuff and you keep me on the right track...thanks"

Who knew? God knew. I didn't know. It's just another reminder tht we really never know how God is at work. I'm blessed to be a part of the process.

I am third...

In an interview with comedian Jeff Foxworthy by Glenn Beck on CNN, Foxworthy gave some invaluable advice. Foxworthy said in his family he encourages them to say and live like, "I am third. I will serve God first, family second and myself third."

Good advice Mr. Foxworthy. Now if only I could do that...

Another "Thought From The Throne"...

Have you ever got a song stuck in your head before? Either you hear it on the radio or you hear someone singing it and from that moment on you can’t get it out of your head. This has happened to me before…well, okay it actually happens to me a lot. People who know me well know that I really like to sing. Now when I say I like to sing, by no means do I mean that I sing well. I just like to sing and will often burst out in random song. And I usually only realize I’m doing it when I look up and someone (or multiple people) are looking at me really strange… yeah…

Well I got a song stuck in my head this weekend. On Easter Sunday I attended church with Jen and Derek and I was reminded of what I like to call “oldie but goodie” praise songs that we used to sing at the church Jen and I grew up at. I couldn't’t get this song out of my head—-the chorus of the song went like this:

And I believe that He’s here now
Standing in our midst
Here with the power to heal
And the grace to forgive

These four lines were stuck in my head all day—I even found myself humming it last night while I was in the shower! Often when songs get stuck in my head I don’t think too much about it, and honestly I sometimes don’t even realize what I’m singing or saying with the lyrics of a song. And I’ve found myself in a few awkward situations because of that…

But this time as I sang the words to this song over and over and over again, I found myself discovering deep truth in these lyrics. Specifically with the last two lines…

“Here with the power to heal and the grace to forgive…”

Sometimes we need to be reminded of this. I often need to be reminded of this. We need to be reminded that Jesus has the power to heal in ways that are beyond our understanding and He has the grace to forgive even when we don’t want to or can’t forgive ourselves.

It doesn’t take much looking around to see that we live in a broken world and therefore we’re all broken people. Some of you probably feel more broken then others at times. And some of you are hurting and are hurting really bad right now. We are in need of the one and only one who offers healing in a way that no one (or no thing) can.

Some people go their whole life searching for something or someone to heal their brokenness. But the thing they’re searching for is in their midst. He’s right here. And we can only find the healing and grace we need when we give up the search, when we surrender, when we trust.

Trust that God is already at work putting you back together. Trust that through dying to the old, the new can give birth. Trust that Jesus can repair the scarred and broken image. Trust that grace pays the bill…

Until Next Week...

Things I don't understand...

1. Why people eat hot dogs.

2. Why people call you, don't leave a message and then get upset because you didn't call them back.

3. How anyone can think the circus peanuts candies are good.

4. Why some people come to a complete stop before turning into a parking lot or onto a side street.

5. How some people can eat fast food everyday...and I mean everyday.

6. Why 7-11 got rid of their diet pepsi slurpees.

7. How anyone would not like the show "The Biggest Loser"

8. Why when you're told you can't do something it makes you want to do it all the more.

9. Why some people can do a cart wheel and others can't. I would be in the "cannot" category.

10. What a bunny has to do with the day Jesus rose from the grave.

He Has Risen...He Has Risen Indeed!

I love that as I get older I have started new traditions for different holidays. Actually I should say Jen and I have started new traditions of things we do together since neither of us are married--or any where close to it for that matter.

On Easter we attend church together, but the past two years we've gone to a church that we normally don't attend. I don't really know why we go to a different church--but it's a lot of fun. After church we then usually eat and hang out for a while. This year we came back to the house that I'm house-sitting at and made deviled eggs and green bean casserole for my family's Easter dinner.

But what's most fun about it all is that we've started these traditions on our own. As adults. And I love it.

Hopefully in the years ahead we'll establish traditions for other holidays, but for now we have our own traditions for Christmas, Martin Luther King Jr. B-day and Easter. Sometimes Thanksgiving too!

Oh what fun!

He has risen...He has risen INDEED!

Would You Rather...

Be Invisible...

OR

Be able to know what others are thinking...

?

Cut up your Capital One credit card...

If you have a credit card with Capital One--I am sorry.

I used to have one (notice the past tense) and I no longer do.

They are awful.

And I'm not one to complain a lot--but when something gets bad enough--such as the customer service at Capital One--I think it's important to let others know in hopes of saving you anger and frustration.

If you have a Capital One Credit Card--cut it up. You will be happy you did.

Enough said.

Feeding Your Soul...

A few days ago I went to see Carrie Underwood and Keith Urban in concert. Together. Carrie did her thing and then Keith came out and did his thing and then they did one song together. It was so great and so much fun!

One song that Keith Urban sings got me thinking a little...

The lyrics of the chorus say this:

Gonna kick off my shoes
And run in bare feet
Where the grass and the dirt and the gravel all meet
Goin' back to the well gonna visit old friends
And feed my soul where the blacktop ends

It got me thinking. What things feed my soul?

What things feed your soul?

Boy that was a great concert!

10 Things I L-O-V-E...

1. Meeting new people

2. Sharing a meal with friends

3. Bike riding on a sunny day

4. Chocolate (but none of this Hershey's business..) I'm talking about the good stuff.

5. Being warmed up by the warmth of the sun after being cold

6. E-mail

7. Looking at old pictures

8. Getting up, taking a shower, having breakfast and then laying back down in bed

9. Road trips--and stopping for a diet pepsi and snacks.

10. Kareoke...enough said...

How do we do that?

I talked to Jen tonight on the phone for 81 minutes. How do we do that? And we could have talked longer but warm comfy beds were calling each of our names.

I'm pretty sure there are very few other people I could talk to on the phone for that long. Actually none come to mind right now...

PTL for Best Friends.

Debated Question Update...

In my last post you can see I posed the question "Do you believe the saying: Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

And I promised I would follow up with that...

The reason I asked that question was in response to a conversation I had with a friend about this statement. I've come to understand that this statement can be debated in many ways--all mainly based on personal experience.

I think regardless of if one believes this statement to be fully true or not, by thinking about it, it seems to bring up a lot of past experiences for people. Experiences where they felt like life was almost too much to handle...but they some how managed to survive.

This statement raised a lot of questions in my mind. Go with me here...

--Is it too bold to use the word "whatever" which is all encompassing in a statement like this? Does everything always make you stronger?

--What does "makes you stronger" mean?

--Is being "stronger" always a good thing?

--If something doesn't kill you but leaves you severely wounded is it better to look for healing in those situations instead of looking to be stronger?

Just my thoughts...

Debated Question...

Do you think the saying, "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is true in all situations?

I'd love feedback. After a few days I'll let you know why I'm asking, but for now I'd just like to know what you think.

Happy Anniversary Jason and Brandie!

Tomorrow marks Brandie and Jason's 2nd wedding anniversary! They make such a great team and their love for each other and others is evident in all that they do. They are a couple I have no doubt will be celebrating many, many more anniversary's together!

Yes and Yes...

I get to spend the weekend with these tree lovely ladies and I am excited. Super excited. I love these girls and it's been waaaaay too long since we've all got together. Considering one lives in Oregon and one recently got married...life is busy, but this weekend will be filled with good conversations, good food and good times. It will be good for my soul.

Having Some Trouble

I wrote two different posts and deleted both because I didn't feel I had any complete thoughts on either topic. So this is my post--and yes I know it's not really a post of substance, though I am thinking I am having trouble putting words to my thoughts. Hang with me...

On a side note...I went to Wal Mart today and found dark chocolate M&Ms on sale. I know, super sweet (no pun intended)!

I liked this quote and stole it from Jamie...

I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.

--E.B. White

Thoughts From The Throne...

Each week I write a "Thought From The Throne" that are posted in the ladies bathroom stalls around campus. Here is the one for this week...

On Sunday I visited a church that I normally don’t attend. The service was at 7:45am, which needless to say made me get up much earlier then I was used to on a Sunday morning. After the service was over I went to my home church to meet up with some people. After we hung out I was planning to go back home and take a nice long nap. So I got in my car and started to drive away.

As I was driving away I had this overwhelming feeling that I needed to go back to church and stay for the 11am service. I didn’t know why I felt so compelled to do so, but the feeling wasn’t going away. I thought, “No, I already went to church once today and am really tired—-and a nap is the next thing on my agenda.”

But God persisted and the feeling continued. The feeling was so strong that I had no choice but to turn around and drive back to church. So I did. I parked my car, walked inside, grabbed a bulletin and looked for a place to sit down.

I looked around the sanctuary as people were milling around talking with one another, when my attention gravitated towards the back row. There was a woman sitting by herself though people were walking and talking all around her. There was an empty seat close to her so I sat down. I introduced myself and we started making small talk. From the moment we started talking I could tell God was at work in this woman's life and she didn’t like it. Her name was Megan and that Sunday was the first time she had been to church in over five years.

We didn’t talk a lot but from the conversation we did have I could see and feel that she had experienced a lot of pain over the past few years and specifically in the past few months and she really didn’t know what to do. At the end of the service, she looked at me and said, “Thanks for introducing yourself and for talking to me. I’m in a rough place in life right now. But your kindness means a lot—more then you’ll ever know.” I looked in her eyes that I could see held a lot of pain, smiled and we went our separate ways.

I don’t know if I’ll ever see Megan again and I don’t know exactly what things she experienced or was in the midst of experiencing that caused her so much hurt and pain. But I do know that God is pursuing Megan. And God is pursuing you. And God is pursuing me. And He doesn’t stop.

Like Megan, you probably have your share of hurt and pain that you carry around, though some of us hide it very, very well. But just because we hide it doesn’t mean it’s not there. And often the more we hide it the heavier it becomes. It gets heavier and heavier until it’s too heavy to carry and something breaks.

You may be one carrying a really heavy bag right now or you may be one whose bag recently broke and your left looking at the remains. Wherever you are, God wants to meet you there. It may sound cliché, but it’s true. The beauty of the cross is that it’s not all about forgiveness but it’s about restoration. God wants to restore your soul. He wants to take that bag and give you rest like you’ve never experienced before.

And if you don’t give it to Him now, things won’t get easier...but don’t worry, He’ll keep pursuing you and calling you and loving you…and trust me…He won’t stop…

Things I've Been Learning...

In the midst of some pretty busy days as of latley, I have been learning a lot. Here's just a snippet...

1. Everyone has a story filled with hopes, fears, hurt, pain and joy.

2. My God is mighty to save.

3. Having a never ending cough makes me feel like a smoker.

4. I'm convinced as you get older things get harder, not easier.

5. The truth is good but it can hurt.

6. A diet cherry coke from Sonic is one of God's greatest creations (I love their ice!)

7. There is freedom in truth.

8. Life is not black and white.

9. It's a great feeling to have lots of clean clothes after doing a ton of laundry.

10. The cross isn't just about forgiveness--it's about restoration. Jesus wants to restore my soul.

11. It's extremely difficult to see a person with so much potential not embrace their God given gifts and abilities.

12. The choices I make now will directly shape much of my future.

13. I would argue cold pizza is better then hot pizza.

14. For Jesus to heal our souls we must stare our junk in the face.

15. If one has issue surrounding their identity those will always be there until dealt with directly, honestly and openly.

16. My mom can make me laugh in a way that no one else can.

Busy Times

Things are busy right now--hence the lack of posts on my part. And things will be busy this weekend, though all good things (i.e. FPU women's retreat to the coast on Saturday--I'm super excited about it!)

But have no fear, I have some thoughts circling in my head that I'm excited to blog about soon...

So hang with me and stay tuned...

Valentine's Day

I'm hanging out with a friend of mine tomorrow night. But we clarified a few things last night while we were on the phone...

1. It's not a date.
2. It's not going to be extravagant.
3. It's not going to be planned out.

"It's just going to be a normal Thursday." Should be a fun night...!

Tag...Your It!

My brother and I have called one another a total of 12 times (6 times each). This is officially the longest game of phone tag I've ever played. And he's the one "it" right now.

My First Crush...

In light of Valentine's Day being this week, tonight in my small group meeting with my RAs we went around and everyone shared the story about their first crush. It was a lot of fun and there was a lot of laughing and giggling.

Think for a minute about your first crush. I have a feeeling it will make you laugh a bit.

Dear Diary...

Two years ago I had my gall bladder removed because I had gall stones. These tiny little stones (made of calcium deposits and build up) would cause me incredible pain from time to time. Like pain to the point to where I would curl over and sometimes have to lay on the ground in the fetal position...not fun.

Ever since then things still haven't been working correctly in my digestion system. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I still get sick after eating...but only sometimes, not all the time.

It's for this reason I am starting a food diary. I will be (and have been) writing down all the food that I eat in hopes of finding a pattern of what may be making me feel sick.

I figured it's worth a try. I haven't written in a diary since the 2nd grade. And all that stopped the day my brother found and read my diary and embarressed me to tears. No hard feelings though...well maybe it is still a soft spot for me.

And it was a Beauty and the Beast diary. I know, it was awesome.

Questions, Oh The Questions....

I love having conversations with people about faith. And actually what I really enjoy is having conversations about faith with people who may have a different perspective on it then me.

The first time one's faith or values is questions it can be scary...and it makes one think...and start to ask questions. And if I would have written this post four years ago, I would not have enjoyed conversations that questioned my faith--they would have really scared me. But I no longer feel that it's my job to defend my faith or God--I'm pretty sure He has that covered on His own.

I love questions. I think questions are good...and healthy...and necessary if as followers of Christ we're called to continually pursue the life God calls us to.

We'll never fully understand God. We can't. But I think the more one asks questions about faith and genuinely seeks biblical truth, it makes the pursuit of God that much more exciting.

I've found the more questions I have, the more answers I find but thus they lead me to more questions. I had two conversations just yesterday with people wrestling through questions of their faith. And in the world we live in we like to have answers and we want to have things painted in black and white--but I've found there is a whole lot of grey that colors our world.

I think questions are necessary for growth. And they don't have to be scary. I think what's really scary is when people don't have any.

I Believe...

1. I believe it's sometimes harder to forgive yourself then it is to forgive others.
2. I believe you really don't realize what you have until it's gone.
3. I believe it's not possible for mankind to understand Christ's infinite love us.
4. I believe some Christian circles push the idea of marriage way too much.
5. I believe people who say they don't have issues really have the most.
6. I believe in a God who knows and understands far more then I do.
7. I believe there is great power in honesty.
8. I believe, and have no doubt, God puts specific people in each of our lives for reasons we may or may not ever know.
9. I believe people who stare their brokenness in the face are the ones who make a difference in the world.
10. I believe I have one of the best jobs in the world.
11. I believe women can enjoy football just as much as men can.
12. I believe God never stops pursuing us. Never.
13. I believe many Americans (including myself) carry around a sense of "entitlement".
14. I believe we will never truly understand how much we impact the lives of those around us.
15. I believe the way our society sees women's bodies is insane.
16. I believe in miracles and things that can not be explained.
17. I believe people stay in difficult situations/relationships because if it's painful at least the pain is familiar.
18. I believe a nice hot shower can do wonders when you're sick.
19. I believe satan knows our tendencies and uses them to tempt us everyday.
20. I CAN'T believe the Giants won the Super Bowl...but they did!

Life

My quote of the week last week that I found myself saying a lot was: "Life...it's all about the choices we make."

And then I found this quote...

"Life is series of choices, good and bad, that shape who we are and what we want in our future."

What kind of choices are you making?

No Wonder Our Perception of Beauty is Distorted...

What If...

Have you ever played the "what if..." game? You know, like "What if I would have done this instead of that?" or "What if I would have gone here instead of there?"

For example:

--What if my parents never moved from Ohio to California?
--What if I was the first born and then had a younger brother?
--What if my mom didn't transfer me to a differnt jr. high and I didn't get to know Jen or Derek?
--What if I had a different youth pastor in jr. high/high school who didn't encourage me to go to FPU?
--What if I went out of town for college?
--What if I never chose to live on campus during college?
--What if I never changed churches and never started attending The Well?
--What if I was born two years earlier or two years later?

Oh the "what if's" of life...

What if...

Wedding #10...

I had lunch with my dear friend Steph on Saturday at Chipotle. It was a great time of catching up and hearing plans of her up and coming wedding (well it's not until November, but time always goes by so fast!) She lives in Turlock now so when we do get time to catch up we try and milk it for all it's worth.

As we were chatting she asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding--I felt honored to be asked and gladly accepted. Steph is one, who in my opinion, has done some long hard work of the soul in figuring out more of who she is and who God has called her to be. I am very excited for her and her fiancee, Drew.

She is getting married on November 22nd. Sadly though, the wedding falls on the same day as Derek's 25th birthday! But he's looking to postpone his party so I can be there, right D? :)

So this marks wedding #10 that I will be blessed to be apart of.

--Once a flower girl.
--Once a candle lighter.
--Four times being a bridesmaid.
--Four times being the guest book attendant.

I am surely blessed with many friends--and I think I now have more married friends then single ones! But it's always a joy to share in the special day with the couple!

Yeeaa for Steph and Drew :)

Free Falling...

I really want to go sky diving. Anyone up for going with me???

Slightly Bizarre...

Are they about to kiss or what? Maybe I'm the only one who sees it, but when I first saw it, I thought it looked really weird.

"The Bucket List"

I saw this movie yesterday and I cried. It's good and funny and it makes you think. I'd recommend it. And if you like Jack Nicholson, then you should really see this movie. Good stuff.

Do You Believe in UFOs...?

Check it out for yourself...

Beyond Cold...

Yesterday, in Green Bay, Wisconsin it was -3 degrees for part of the playoff game between The Packers and The NY Giants. But with the wind chill factor it was -23 degrees. Not 23 degrees but NEGATIVE 23 degrees! I told my mom I think I would have passed out due to the cold.

I'm cold when it's about 40 degrees outside...so I can't imagine what it would be like if it were 63 degrees colder than that!

It was days like yesterday that I was happy to be living in California...it was 63 degrees in Fresno, and I can handle that.

Donald Miller Is Coming to FPU...

Donald Miller will be speaking at at FPU on Thursday, April 17th from 8am-2pm. Tickets are $40/person and includes breakfast and lunch. Here's the link to get tickets for those interested click here for the link to buy tickets and register online.

Here's an excerpt from his book "Blue Like Jazz" which I have been re-reading lately. Thought it might wet your appetite for those planning to join me on April 17th...

"In a recent radio interview I was sternly asked by the host, who did not consider himself a Christian, to defend Christianity. I told him that I couldn't do it, and moreover, that I didn't want to defend the term. He asked me if I was a Christian, and I told him yes. "Then why don't you want to defend Christianity?" he asked, confused. I told him I no longer knew what the term meant. Of the hundreds of thousands of people listening to his show that day, some of them had terrible experiences with Christianity; they may have been yelled at by a teacher in a Christian school, abused by a minister, or browbeaten by a Christian parent. To them, the term Christianity meant something that no Christian I know would defend. By fortifying the term, I am only making them more and more angry. I wont do it. Stop ten people on the street and aske them what they think of when they hear the word Christianity and they will give you ten different answers. How can I defend a term that means ten different things to ten different people? I told the radio show host that I would rather talk about Jesus and how I came to believe that Jesus exists and that he loves me. The host looked back at me with tears in his eyes. When we were done, he asked me if we could go get some lunch together. He told me how much he didn't like Christianity, but how he had always wanted to believe Jesus was the son of God."

I haven't seen this movie yet...but I'm going to...soon.

I hear it's a tear jerker...get your tissue ready.

"Just Let It Be..."

Wise words from my BFF. I was telling her about a recent happening in life and her words were ones I needed to hear: "Just let it be Bec...it is what it is...just let it be..."

Two Weeks Late...But Still Worth Reflecting...

1)What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before? Went to my first NBA game. Went to Mexico for the first time. Bought my first NEW car. Watched a friend run in a ½ marathon. Got a massage. Went to Las Vegas—twice!

2) Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I didn’t make any. But I did this year…though you’ll have to stay tuned until next year to find out what they were for this year… did that make any sense?

3) Did anyone close to you give birth? No one that comes to mind right now…

4) Did anyone close to you die? No. Praise The Lord.

5) What countries did you visit? Mexico.

6) What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? A better grasp on how to effectively manage my time. And be more organized both in my office and at home.

7) What date(s) from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory? December 20th – the day I drove my new car off the lot. And December 2nd.

8) What was your biggest achievement of the year? Coming one step closer to learning what it means to be content in life.

9) Did you suffer illness or injury? Nope. Again, Praise The Lord.

10) How many weddings did you attend in 2007? Five. And I was involved in three of them. And three weddings are already on the books for 2008...

11) Whose behavior merited celebration? My RAs. They were (and still are) amazing.

12) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Appalled and depressed are pretty serious things… I can’t think of anyone in particular.

13) Where did most of your money go? Eating out.

14) What did you get really, really, really excited about? Going to Vegas for the first time!

15) What song will always remind you of 2007? "Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal)" by Fergie. It was ALWAYS on the radio.

16) Compared to this time last year, are you: Wiser? I hope so. I feel I gleamed some wisdom this year. Healthier? Yes, I feel healthier. Richer? That depends on what constitutes being “rich”…

17) What do you wish you'd done more of? Read.

18) What do you wish you'd done less of? Cared what other people would think.

19) How did you spend Christmas? With the fam at home.

20) Did you fall in love in 2007? “Fall in love” I’m still not even sure I know what that means, so I’m going to have to go with…no.

21) How many one-night stands? Seriously, is this a question? None.

22) What was your favorite TV program? The Biggest Loser.

23) Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I'm not a hater I just crush a lot…

24) What was the best book you read? “Sex God” by Rob Bell.

25) What was your greatest musical discovery? Keith Urban.

26) What did you want and get? A new car.

27) What did you want and not get? I can't think of anything...

28) What was your favorite film of this year? “Juno.” (I’m pretty sure this came out in December of ’07)

29) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Dinner with friends. And I was 23...

30) Which celebrity/public figure did you like the most? Ron Paul :)

31) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? Whatever I would wear I had to feel good in, or else I would feel crappy the rest of the day.

32) What kept you sane? The Good Lord. My BFF—J.lo and other good, close friends.

33) Who did you miss? My brother.

34) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007. You can’t please everyone—you simply can’t. You must be true to yourself and hold tight to the convictions you have and never let go…

35) What did you gain this year? A few new bills to pay…

36) What did you lose this year? A few pounds…

37) Who was the most interesting new person you met? Matt.

38) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
”Hold onto 16 (or in this case 22) as long as you can…changes come around real soon that make us women and men…”

We All Have A Story To Tell...

"There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest and roughest exterior there is a drama, a comedy and a tragedy." -Mark Twain

Turn Down The Volume...

I've noticed that often times when I'm driving on the freeway I usually don't have the radio on. When I'm driving on the freeway and there is very little traffic, I love to just think as I drive. It's quite freeing in a lot of ways to be able to set aside time to think and pray and not have to have noise going on all around me. There is enough noise in this world that surrounds me so when I have a chance to turn down the volume and enjoy a noise free environment, I take it for all it's worth.

Mr. Eric Clapton...

It's not always easy, but sometimes it's necessary...

"One of the most beneficial things I've ever learned is how to keep my mouth shut." -Eric Clapton

Why do...

people drive 60mph in the fast lane on the freeway? I'm still trying to understand this one...

Pay Nothing Until 2008...

I posted before about how I write "Thoughts From The Throne" each week for women on campus that are then posted up in the bathroom stalls in the dorms. Clever, I know. Here is a clip of the one I wrote today...

"When I was in college I always enjoyed the start of a new semester because it gave me an opportunity to start fresh. New classes, new professors, and another opportunity to try and be on top of my work. I would always say, “This semester I’m not going to procrastinate and I’m going to do all of the assigned reading…” That usually only lasted for a few weeks, but at least my intentions were good.

Along with the start of a new semester comes the start of a whole new year. I can remember years ago watching furniture commercials on TV that would say “No payments until 2008!” and thinking that was so far away…and now here it is. At the start of this year I found myself reflecting on last year and all of the events and memories that encompassed it.

I found myself reflecting even more yesterday afternoon as I attended a funeral for a friend’s mother who recently died after an eight month battle with cancer. The funeral was completely devoted to glorifying God for the life He gave, for the children she raised and for the people she blessed in her 48 years here on earth. As I sat at the funeral I couldn’t help but think of how quickly life can change. Eight months ago this woman was completely healthy—but life doesn’t always go as we plan and she is now at home with her Heavenly Father.

I woke up this morning feeling somber with my heart heavy. I continued to grieve for her husband who lost his wife and for her children who lost their mother. “It’s just not fair” I would think, and it’s true--it’s not. But we we’re never told life would be fair. In the midst of sadness I cling to the promise that the Lord knows and understands far more then we do or ever will—and we’re not called to understand but to trust.

If you haven’t done so already, take time this week to reflect on last year. If your year was anything like mine, there were times of great joy and heartfelt pain. Both the joy and the pain are valuable to reflect on as they are imperative to our growth as followers of Christ. In the midst of pain it’s often difficult to see how the Lord can create beauty from it—but He can and He does."

A New Year...

I feel as though 2008 is going to be a year full of change. As I reflected on 2007, I didn't feel that I endured that much change--not sure if that's good or bad. And actually, when looking back, I wish I would have grown more then I feel like I did.

I mean, I did grow in a lot of ways, but I feel now more then ever God is calling me out of my comfort zone and calling me out on things in my life--both the seen and unseen things.

I feel as though change is coming in different ways. Change has already occurred in the lives of a few friends within the past week--4 engagements and it's not even a week into the new year yet!

And sadly, after battling an aggressive form of cancer for months, a friend lost his mother today--talk about change. So much change has and will continue to penetrate that family.

But I was reminded today by a friend, "In order to grow, things much change and in order to change we must learn." You can't grow without changing and you can't change without learning...they all go hand in hand...

And 2008 is going to be magical, right j.lo?

2nd Annual Gingerbread House Par-tee!

So much fun! And the house I built this year was MUCH better than the one I made last year!

2007 Is Coming To A Close...

"There will come a time when you think every thing is finished. That will be the beginning."

Quote of the Week...

"I'm really angry with him right now. This is the face of anger." --Jen

haha :)

I've Had Issues

Sorry folks, the internet in my apartment is not working properly, thus the reason for the lack of blogs. I'm currently posting at Jen's house (while she ravenously wraps Christmas presents). Hope everyone has a great Christmas--enjoy time with family, eat lots of good food and drive safely in the fog-- For you Fresnans, you know what I'm talking about.

Mom In Training

I'm house-sitting right now for two dogs. I came back to the house tonight and found that they (I'm not sure if it was both or just one) had vomited...a lot. Not just in one, two or three places, but in FIVE different places around the house!

I spent a good chunk of time tonight cleaning up dog vomit and cleaning the carpet. If this doesn't help prepare me for motherhood someday, I don't know what would.

A Walk Down Memory Lane...

I was watching some "Saved By The Bell" yesterday when this classic episode came on. I think it's safe to say it was one of the biggest moments in the shows history. It's SO cheesy but when I was younger I LOVED it. Heck, I'm not going to lie, I still really like it! For all you "Saved By The Bell" fans out there, you can thank me later. But first watch this clip and walk down memory lane with me...



"I'm going to miss you Kelly. How 'bout one last dance?" I think many of us all wished relationships ended that nicely...

Here's to good 1990's television memories...

Christmas Goodness

Tonight was the third annual gift exchange with three of my good friends. For the past three years my friends, Brandie, Noelle, Beth and I get together to eat some good food, hang out, relax and exchange Christmas gifts. It's a lot of fun and there are always unique gifts that pop up!

Last year we decided it was going to be a "themed gift exchange" and our theme was "spa or relaxation day"--so basically the gift was supposed to be something bath like or the such. We quickly learned this was harder then we thought and although it turned out to be okay, we decided to ditch the themed gift giving this year.

We all gathered at Brandie and Jason's apartment tonight (though Jason was out doing his own things with the guys) and we had coffee, with some A-M-A-ZING gingerbread biscotti dipped in white chocolate...seriously one of the best things I've ever had! And lots of other goodies that Brandie made.

It was a lot of fun and we watched a new show on TLC called "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" It's a really funny reality tv show that follows this couple around who had twin girls and then wanted another child and ended up getting pregnant with sextuplets! Of course fertility drugs were involved, but they have two 6 year old girls and six 3 year old children--3 boys and 3 girls. They are adorable!

All that to say the show is really funny, my friends are wonderful and the night was such a great way to celebrate together!

One thing I love about Christmas are nights like these. Indeed.

Amazing Grace...

Sit. Listen. Think. Enjoy.



Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

T'was Grace that taught...
my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear...
the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares...
we have already come.
T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...
and Grace will lead us home.

The Lord has promised good to me...
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be...
as long as life endures.

When we've been here ten thousand years...
bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise...
then when we've first begun.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

Amen.

Sugar Rush

I'm pretty sure I had more sugar last night than I have in the past month. I was in one of the residence halls on campus last night about 10pm and I ran into a group of freshmen girls who were going on the much loved, "slurpee run". They invited me to come along and experience their last slurpee run of the semester with them. So without hesitation, I joined in.

We got to 7-11 and they told me the only way to go when buying a slurpee was to get a 40oz! 40 ounces of slurpee...I don't even know or want to know how much sugar is in that...but I said, "What the heck, fill me up!" The girls assisted me in the choosing and mixing of flavors, which included, Pina Colada, Pepsi, Wild Cherry and a little Blue Raspberry to top it off.

And then if you buy a slurpee what else do you have to buy? That's right, Reese Peanut Butter Cups...king size!

And when we got back to campus there were Christmas parties galore going on, so there were lots of sweet treats floating around.

It was a lot of fun. When was the last time you had a slurpee run at 10pm at night??

I love my job.

Oh and did I mention I also went out with my RAs and treated them to TCBY last night! Granted that's a little lower in sugar than a slurpee, but it still added to the sweet treats of the night!

Check...Check...Check It Out...

I got this website from Christine's blog.

www.freerice.com

Check it out. Help end world hunger and expand your vocabulary. Jamie I think you would really like this.

I played around with it for a few minutes tonight and donated 720 grains of rice. It was quite fun...and it makes you think...

One Christmas Gift Down...

Jen and I like to go on late night walks. Now when I say "late night" I mean like 8:30pm so not super late, though it is dark out. We have our normal spot we meet at and we have our routine route that we walk. And we don't just walk. We walk, we talk, we laugh, we sing, we jog (sometimes) we cry (not all that often, but it's happened) and we dodge dumb drivers in cars...which leads me to telling you what I'm buying Jen for Christmas...

Reflective clothing OR reflectors for her clothing.

As we were walking the other night we cross a street and reach a corner leading into a neighborhood. There's a BMW coming directly at us so I walk one way and Jen walks the other. The lady in the car rolls down her window and says to Jen, "I really couldn't see you at all. I wanted to let you know that."

I begin to laugh inside as I look at Jen and already know what she's thinking and what she wants to say to this lady.

But Jen nicely replies: "Okay, thank you."

I look at Jen and start busting up laughing.

Apparently we need to wear reflectors on our clothing and a hat with a blinking light so people can see us.

But I'm sure even if we wore that stuff we could make it look good.

I'm thinking a neon pink jump suit for Jen and neon green for me. If we wore that we would totally be bringing sexy back...

"It's All Coming Back To Me Now..."

For some reason this scripture keeps coming back into my head over the past couple of weeks...

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Random Toyota Commerical

Random mentioning of Fresno in this Toyota commercial. See if you can catch it...

Really, Fresno of all places? I know it's no New York or Chicago or LA but I really don't think Fresno is as bad as people make it out to be...

Top Ten Things I Love About The Holidays...

10. Gingerbread lattes from Starbucks

9. Baking goodies and delivering them to neighbors

8. Listening to Christmas music

7. Wrapping Christmas presents and using pretty paper with pretty ribbon

6. Seeing old friends who are in town for the holidays

5. Christmas morning--the fire going, hot chocolate in hand.

4. Driving down Christmas Tree Lane

3. Spending time with my brother

2. Going to church on Christmas Eve with my mom and dad. Singing Silent Night, holding a candle, with my dad's arm around me.

1. Going to Wendy's with Jen on Christmas Day.

One of my top ten worst things ever...

is being cold. I despise being cold. When I am cold I become like a different person. I get moody and don't feel like I can function until I warm up. I was absolutely freezing tonight when I was with some friends at Uncle Harry's and they left the doors open--there was cold air coming in and I was not a happy bagel eater.

I'm not sure what the other 9 things would be on my list of top ten worst things ever, but being cold would surely be on there and probably in the top three.

I would rather bundle up and as j.lo says "look like a butterball turkey" then be cold. Hands down.

Trans Fat Fast...

Trans fat...it is so, so bad for you. And it's in foods that you wouldn't even think. The nutrition label on a product my say "0 grams of trans fat" however if one of the ingredients on the list is "partially hydrogenated oil" that is code for "trans fat"--it's the same thing.

Our good friend Wikipedia tells us this about trans fat:

"Unlike other dietary fats, trans fats are neither required nor beneficial for health.[1] Eating trans fats increases the risk of coronary heart disease. Health authorities worldwide recommend that consumption of trans fat be reduced to trace amounts. Trans fats from partially hydrogenated oils are generally considered to be more of a health risk than those occurring naturally."

So why is it used?:

"These more saturated fats have a higher melting point making them attractive for baking, and extending their shelf-life. Partially hydrogenated oils have been used in food for many reasons. Partial hydrogenation increases product shelf life and decreases refrigeration requirements. Because baking requires semi-solid fats to suspend solids at room temperature, partially hydrogenated oils can replace the animal fats traditionally used by bakers (such as butter).

So in light of knowing how bad trans fat is for me and how it can be hiding in so many different foods, I'm going on a "trans fat fast" for a week to see if I can do it. It may not sound that hard, but you'd be surprised at all of the places you'll find this "partially hydrogenated oil".

Who's with me???

Thanksgiving...

was good. I didn't feel good over the weekend so that wasn't fun--but praise be to God that He has given me loving and understanding family and friends who put up with me when I'm crabby. When I don't feel good I sometimes get a little moody. I'm fully aware of this and I don't like it. And when I don't feel good I like quite environments, but my brother, bless his heart, is naturally a loud person. He talks loud, sings loud, watches TV extremely loud (I'm pretty sure I'm getting him a hearing aid for Christmas) but he tried to turn down his volume a little :)

So all that to say, on Thanksgiving I was reminded of how blessed I am to have good family and friends who love me regardless of my crabbiness.

PTL. Praise The Lord.

"Your Actions Are Not Your Own..."

Think about it--like it or not, it's true. Things we do affect us and either directly or indirectly, affect those around us.

Whether you realize it or not, you impact people on a daily bases.

What kind of impact are you having?

Makes You Think...

"...we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen." -- John le Carre

I took this from Jamie's blog. It made me think and I love how Jen and I think alike.

Just think about it..."a world no one else has ever seen..."

What's your world like?

The Countdown Begins...

Only 37 days left until Christmas.

Wow.

I have to say I'm excited to bake some goodies :)

And I'm excited for Christmas lunch when Jen and I go to Wendy's and eat chicken nuggets and french fries with a frosty of course. It may sound completely weird and crazy for some people, but this is a tradition we started about 3 years ago...maybe 4...Jen, can you help me out with this?

But any how, it's something I look forward to very much. I can't fully explain why, and I've come to be okay with not being able to explain it. There's just something about being with your best friend on Christmas afternoon, sitting in comfy clothes with our hair a mess, no make up on enjoying the goodness of Wendy's, that really, nothing else can compare to.

Trust me.

Everyone and every family have their Christmas traditions and this has become one of mine and Jen's. Yes, our kids and husbands will be eating Wendy's on Christmas afternoon :) Well, we'll see about that one...

Only 37 days to go...

Lifes Little Instructions...

For my birthday I received "Life's Little Instruction Book". I was reading through it today and thought I would highlight a few that stuck out to me. These aren't in any particular order but they all rang true to me in some form or fashion...

--Compliment three people every day.
--Live beneath your means.
--Be forgiving of yourself and others.
--Keep secrets.
--Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
--Stop blaming others. Take responsiibility for every area of your life.
--Admit your mistakes.
--Eat prunes.
--Don't take good health for granted.
--Forget the Joneses.
--Choose your lifes mate carefully. From this one decision will come ninety percent of all your happiness or misery.
--Make a habit to do nice things for people who'll never find it out.
--Put a lot of little marshmallows in your hot chocolate.
--Know how to change a tire.
--Remember peoples names.
--Keep your watch five minutes fast.
--Use seatbelts.

Now here is my take on these things...

--Compliment three people every day - The world would be so different if everyone did this.
--Live beneath your means - Part of my issue with buying a new car...
--Be forgiving of yourself and others - Easier said than done...
--Keep secrets - Isn't it interesting how word gets around about who can keep a secret and who can't?
--Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday - Yes and Yes.
--Stop blaming others. Take responsiibility for every area of your life. - This is something Jen and I talk about often.
--Admit your mistakes - It's humbling and good for the soul.
--Eat prunes - I LOVE prunes!
--Don't take good health for granted - "You don't know what you got till it's gone..."
--Forget the Joneses -
--Choose your lifes mate carefully. From this one decision will come ninety percent of all your happiness or misery - I'm sure there are many people out there who can speak to this truth.
--Make a habit to do nice things for people who'll never find it out - like putting money in a person's expired parking meter...it's such a good feeling and they'll never know you helped them out and potentially saved them from getting a big fat ticket.
--Put a lot of little marshmallows in your hot chocolate - and lots of whipped cream!
--Know how to change a tire - at the age of 23 I can now say (after mulitple tire issues) I do know how to change a tire!
--Remember peoples names - I wish I was better at this...
--Keep your watch five minutes fast - or in my or Jen's case...twenty minutes fast.
--Use seatbelts - One word: Eric *cough cough*

64 an Still Counting

Three days ago my grandma and grandpa celebrated their 64th wedding anniversary. Take a minute and just take that in...64 years together--side by side--husband and wife.

The thought of being with the same person day after day after day for 64 years amazes me and kind of boggles my mind. I think any couple that gets married, has the hope and desire to be married to that person for the rest of their life, but I wonder how many people think it will extend beyond 60 years with that same person.

And after 64 years of living and "doing life" with the same person, is there anything that you wouldn't know about them?

My grandma and grandpa continually amaze me and I have been so blessed to have their marriage and commitment to one another as an example for me as I look down the road towards marriage someday.

And the best part...they still hold hands. My grandpa helps my grandma put on her sweater and every week my grandma cuts the baseball TV schedule out of the newspaper and puts it next to my grandpas recliner, so he knows when all the games are on and what channel to turn to. And my grandpa tells me often that the best decision he ever made in his life was to marry my grandma. "I'd be lost without her" he's told me. "When you find a good woman, only a fool would let her go. And I found the best one".

Thank you Jesus for their example of true love and commitment.

Number 65...here they come...

Grounds For Divorce...

Three things my mom has told me she will never run out of in the house because they are a necessity for my dad.

1. Ketchup
2. Chocolate Syrup
3. Coffee

And then she said, "If I ran out of coffee that would be grounds for divorce." Haha...get it..."grounds for divorce"...coffee grounds... And the best part is she didn't even mean to make a joke... I love it when that happens.

Just For The Record...

I'm pretty sure I have something living with me in my apartment. Just ask any of my RAs and I think they would agree. I've heard some interesting noises...and they heard them too...

I'm not sure what it could be, but I just wanted to put it out there on the record, so when I do find something, I can at least not feel like I was a freak and just imagining things...

I told everyone I've been waiting for a possum to jump out of my closet... We shall see.

Halloween 2007

I should say it was more a Halloween/Third Annual "Triple B Birthday Bash". The three B's representing: Brandie, Beth and Becky as we all have birthdays the last week of October.

Good times for sure. This is only one of many pictures from the evening. As you can see we had an eclectic group of costumes...

People will change. Circumstances will change. Life will change. God doesn't change.

Every week I write what's called a "Thought From The Throne" for the ladies on campus. These "thoughts" are hung up in the bathroom stalls in the residence halls to give them something to read while they're "doing their business". Below is one that I wrote last week . I share this with you because, as I wrote it, the ideas expressed in it really resonated with me and it may, in some way, resonate with you too.

This weekend I went down to the lovely city of Visalia and was a bridesmaid in a wedding for a good friend of mine. I met both her and her then boyfriend (now husband) when we were all three students here at Fresno Pacific. Her and I lived together our senior year of college and became good friends. The wedding was a joyous celebration. She looked beautiful. He was overjoyed at the sight of his bride walking down the aisle. And on Saturday, October 27th, their five year span of dating ended and they became husband and wife.

Now I’ve been blessed to attend many weddings and have now been apart of the bridal party in a total of five weddings. By no means am I saying this to sound cool or as my good friend and fellow RD Dave Obwald would say “to brag about my friend count” but rather to give glory to God that I’ve been blessed with many good, deep and treasured friendships. There is a sense of excitement that can be felt in the air as two people decide to commit their whole lives to one another and to only one another.

My favorite part of every wedding is the moment when the bride begins to walk down the aisle and the groom stands up front, breathless as he watches her every move. I love to watch the expressions on both of their faces as their eyes meet and she moves down the aisle towards him. For Christian couples who pledge their vows in marriage to one another and to God, there is a sense of understanding that they have the ability to love one another, only because God first loved them.

Now go with me here…

I’ve been wrestling with this idea of “love” for sometime now. Now before you think I’m getting all mushy and completely “girly” on you, go with me for a minute. I would venture to say at one point or another we’ve all heard the words, “God loves you” and we’ve probably heard “I love you” from a family member or close friend. The word “love” gets thrown around a lot in our culture and we can find ourselves using the word “love” to describe things like shoes, food ,clothes, etc... “I love those shoes and I love chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream” (that’s my personal favorite). Of course this “love” would be different then the love we give to or receive from people.

Grasping the idea of God’s love for us can be very difficult at times. As humans, we don’t love like God loves—-we can’t. Just like we don’t have the ability to forgive in the same way God forgives or understand His grace at times when we truly don’t deserve it. And we can’t earn God’s love—-He gives is freely. We don’t have to put on an act and try and be someone we’re not in order to be loved by God. You already are loved and valued.

You are good enough exactly as you are. Do you believe this? Because it’s true. You have limitless worth and value. If you embrace this truth, it will affect every area of your life. You are worth dying for. Your worth does not come from your body, your mind, your work, what you produce, what you put out, or how much money you make. Your worth does not come from what you do but from who God is. You don’t have to earn God’s love—-you can’t. You’re already loved-—deeply.

For some this idea of God’s infinite love can be hard to swallow. I encourage you to really think about how valuable you are in God’s sight and how His love for you will not change. People will change. Circumstances will change. Life will change. God’s love for you will never change. Just think about it…

Until Next Week…

Becky

I've Been Slacking...

To all of my beloved readers (yes, all five of you :)

I am deeply sorry for my lack of posts this past week. October is always a busy month and this year it seemed to be even busier than usual--but no excuses. If you can hang with me for just another day or so, I promise to get some new posts (and pictures!) up.

Thanks for hanging in there...

Gratefully Yours,
BK

THIS was in my kitchen...

I opened my cubbard this evening to get out a frying pan and this little guy freaked out and jumped out of the cubbard, and needless to say, freaked me out in the process! It was disgusting to say the least and it was HUGE. This was not your average black widow spider! YUCK!

First I had a GIANT cockroach in my bathroom, then a mouse was living with me and now a black widow! I'm just waiting for a possum to jump out of my closet...

Just Like It Says...

Go See This Movie

So, so good. This movie was recommended to me by Sara and J.Mast and it lived up to all they said it would. Jen I think you would like this movie. You too Jamie. Let me know if you see it and what you think.

It's Beginning to Feel Like Fall...

I love the smell of chimney smoke from a fire in crisp fall air...

I walked outside tonight and smelled that distinct smell so I stopped, closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I hope to smell many more crisp fall nights like tonight.

Just For The Record

It's 1:15am right now...I have to get up in about 4 hours...right about 5:20am. Oh the joys of procrastination...

I feel like I'm back in college again.

“Sex isn’t the process of searching for something; it’s the expression of something that is found…”

Listening to "Sex God" by Rob Bell right now. Just heard this nugget and thought I would share it. I think for some people, both in the church and outside of it, view sex as the process of searching for something and not as the expression of something of great beauty in a marriage that has been found...

"Praying Extra Hard..."

Today I was talking to a friend and told them I was "praying extra hard for them". And then later on I stopped and thought, "What does it really mean to pray "extra hard" for someone? Does it mean you pray longer, more intensely and does that mean the harder we pray the more God will listen?

I think there is definitely something to be said about being consistent in our prayers, as pray is really about changing the heart of the one who prays, but I don't think it factors in to what the answer to our prayer will be. All that to say I'm pretty sure I won't be using the term "praying extra hard" again in the future.

I wanna go back...

Ireland...



Switzerland...The Swiss Alps...



Italy...Venice...



Soon...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIM!

Today marks my brother's 25th birthday. That means five more years and he'll be 30. Whoa. Just last night he said, "Ya know Becky, when we were younger I used to always brag that I was older then you, but now I think it's starting to work in your favor."

And for just a few weeks he is three years older then me. So weird to think he's 25...it seemed such a short while ago he had just turned 16 and got his 1972 Chevelle Malibu for his birthday. Ah...memories.

That's a post all in itself...the memories of Tim's '72 Chevelle. I'm sure Jen could help me come up with some of those... ha.

Alarm Malfunction

I woke up today at 5:51am, which I understand for some people sounds outrageous. I agree this is early, however the problem is that I was supposed to leave my house at 5:40am. I started this workout group training camp that meets Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 6:00am at a park in North Fresno. I absolutely love it. I don't like getting up in the 5am hour, however afterwards I feel so good and it's just an all around good start to my day.

Ideally I wake up at 5:25 to leave my house at 5:40 to get to the park a few minutes before 6:00am. Knowing 5:25 is pretty early in the morning and I have a tendency to turn off my alarm when I don't want to get up... I intentionally set two alarm clocks and place one on my dresser which is across the room from me.

This morning I don't know what happened, by I don't remember either of my alarms going off. I could understand if I turned off my cell phone alarm and went back to bed, but I don't know what happened to my second alarm. Unless I got out of bed, turned it off and then went back to sleep, which if that was the case, for me to not remember all of that would freak me out a bit.

But after I worked out this morning I also went and got gas and went to the grocery store and was back to my apartment a few minutes after 8:00am. 5:25am always comes early for me (especially when I don't get to bed before midnight...but I'm working on that) but after I'm up and have worked out, it's a feeling like no other.

Anyone want to join me...?

Just FYI...

Riding on a teeter-totter in a skirt...bad idea. Just take my word on this one.