A friend sent this too me and I have to say, it made me laugh. Just a reminder of how differently God created men and women... To the men who read this blog, I hope you enjoy this and for the women, hopefully you'll get some laughs too...
We always hear 'the rules' from the female side ...Now here are the rules from the male side.
Man Rules:
Please note, these are all numbered '1 ON PURPOSE...
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports - It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Please just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying,
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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3 comments:
OMG! That was hilarious. I love it. I plan to refer back to it often when you and j.Lo give me crap about how I respond to things with you! Ha! Mad love!
Let me start by saying that my wife is a major blog stalker (found you through Dominique's blog) and I doubt we have ever met. However, I read this with my wife and couldn't help but laugh, agree out loud several times, and I even read a couple of them to my wife just to make sure she heard it...absolutely great/hilarious! Thank you for this post...I may be stealing it in the future.
-Dave
P.S. She laughed too.
Dave,
Glad you enjoyed it and feel free to "steal" it for anything you'd like :) And I must admit, I'm a blog stalker too, so I can relate to your wife. Glad you found this blog!
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