God's Faithfulness In The Midst Of My Doubt

A recent job opportunity that has emerged for me. I have been in the "job search" and interview process ever since I graduated college in May and even well before that. I was interviewing for a position within Student Development inhigher education and specifically I was looking to be a Residence Director (RD) at a university. (If you're interested and for those of you who may not know exactly what a RD does, below I attached a little more info about it) I had multiple interviews with various universities in different regions of the country and was open to moving outside of California if a job arose that seemed to be a good fit for me. I had about a lot of different interviews, many phone interviews and a few on-site. Little did I know that a job would come up in my own backyard...

And now to the good news... as of Thursday I was offered and accepted a position at Fresno Pacific University as one of their three Residence Directors. As of two weeks ago there was not a Residence Director position open at FPU, but as things turned out, a position did open up which opened the door to this opportunity. I had multiple interviews and as of today it is official. I start on Monday and will be living in an on-campus apartment and will be moving in this weekend. I never expected to be working at Fresno Pacific. Though I am very excited, I really thought I would find myself to be testing waters outside of California, but I am happy to be staying!

God's timing in this all is amazing. Throughout this whole process I have learned a lot about myself and about God's faithfulness. I can't say the interview process was an easy road for me. I began feeling discouraged as it was about to be the beginning of August and I still didn't have a job. However, it is a road I'm glad I traveled and now when I reflect back I can see God's purpose in it all.

I am excited to start this new chapter of my life. I am once again reminded of how blessed I am to have so people in my life that provide me with their prayers, encouragement, support and interest in what God is doing in my life. He's always up to something... Ready...Set...Here I go...into the "real world". Is there really such a thing?

Pointing Them To Jesus

"Small things done with great love will change the world". Yes, yes they will. I want to be a woman who loves deeply and changes lives for Christ. I can't do much on my own--but I can love people and I can point them to Jesus.

Beauty In The Aroma

I like perfume. Specifically Clinque Happy. I like the way it smells and I like to smell good. I wear it almost everyday. My perfume has a certain aroma to it and often times people tell me when they smell that specific aroma, it reminds them of me. Just like perfume gives off an aroma, so I think we should have an aroma (or something like it) that draws people to Christ. I want to be the aroma of Christ. Have you ever met someone and instantly you could tell something was different about them? Just by being around them you were captivated by their beauty--and not physical beauty necessarily but rather who they were on the inside that literally shown through and created great beauty on the outside. I have a friend like this and she is captivating. Her smile and her genuine pursuit of Christ is something I often stand back in awe of. She is one who asks hard questions about her faith and often times doesn't get answers, but that doesn't stop her from asking. That's my kind of girl. She's willing to put herself out there, knowing full well that she may not get exactly what she is looking for, but she's willing to take that risk. She has the aroma of Christ surrounding her. It's funny though, because she wouldn't say that she does, but she does. It is my prayer that when people interact with me, that they see or rather sense, that there is something different about me. I want people to smell the wonderful aroma of Christ and start asking questions of who could create such a beautiful scent. Ultimately I want my life to point others to the Savior. I have very little I can offer people on my own, but Jesus has a ton to offer. And His offers are free...not like those late night infomercials you see that charge you an arm and a leg for a mop that cost $0.54 to make. It seems those are the only things on late at night. Jesus is always "on" and ready to spend those late nights with me. PTL.

Frozen Bananas

Frozen bananas are my new love. They are SO good. You simply peel a banana, but it on a plate and put it in the freezer. In about 2 hours...wa la...you have frozen (healthy) goodness! It's like eating banana frozen yogurt. It's creamy and just plain good. You can put chocolate syrup on it, or my favorite, peanut butter :) But yes, it is amazing--heavenly I would say. I sure hope they have frozen bananas in heaven. Yum, yum and yum! Try it...do it...do it...

The BFF

The BFF. Yes, three letters that describe a person who knows me at the core of who I am. Her name is J.lo. Okay, her real name is Jen, well actually, it's Jennifer (wow, Jennifer sounds weird) but I call her J.Lo for short. No, her last name isn't Lopez...and it doesn't even start with a L, however, j.lo is what I started calling her at one point, and it just stuck. She is quite good looking however, just like Jennifer Lopez, so there are some commonalities there. We laugh together. We cry together. We sing random songs and jingles together and make up weird dances to go along with the songs and jingles (well, not so much the dances anymore, but oh do we still sing!). We eat peanut butter and pretzels together. We get soft serve ice cream cones from McDonalds and devour them together in the car before we reach our next destination. "Two number 8's on wheat please..." is what we say when we go to POS (Port of Subs that is). We've been to a lot of life's events together including: weddings, funerals, proms, formals, countless graduation parties, had a really bad experience at a mexican resturant (ahhh...mariachi...ahhhh) birthday parties, random youth events and trips, baby showers, a few dance clubs, late night climbs on the roof of the church (was I supposed to say that...?) and we go to Wendy's on Christmas day together and eat chicken nuggets...yum. We've endured many of life's great trials together including deaths, divorce, broken hearts, broken families, run-ins with the police, dumb boys and the unknown that always lies ahead. We can still to this day stay up to all hours of the night, just talking about all sorts of stuff, some serious and some just plain silly...and I mean really silly. Silly pants.

Now you may be thinking, "Yeah, a lot of people have a best friend..." No my friend, no. Many (I would venture to say most) do not understand what it is to have a true BFF. Some people say, "Oh yeah, I have three or four best friends..." Again I will say it, no. No, my friend. In my opinion, you can have multiple "really good friends" but really only one BFF. You see, the BFF is the one who you can look at with "the look" and they know exactly what you are thinking and you don't have to say a word. You just smile at one another and then bust up laughing later. Or when you're in church and the lady behind you, bless her heart, is singing like a cat in heat, Jen and I just look at each other and smile and don't say a word, though can pretty much, word for word, know what the other is thinking. They are the one who know that something is wrong simply by looking at you or hearing your voice on the phone and when they ask you "What's wrong?" and you say "Nothing." they say "Liar." And then you tell them.

A BFF is a one of a kind gift from God. And I don't use the word lightly here. Jen is a gift from God. My honest to goodness prayer is that everyone would experience what it means to have a BFF like I do. I can tell Jen anything and she doesn't judge me, though she will certainly put me in my place and tell me the hard things that I need to hear but don't necessarily want to. She does it all in love and I become a better person and woman of God because of it and because of her. She reminds me to not think too much about certain issues and calls me on it when I'm being a "dumb girl". We don't like "dumb girls" though we have found ourselves to imitate them at times. And now as we get older we find ourselves having more adult conversations. We've traveled on the road from being jr. high girls to becoming young adult women. Through jr. high, high school and now college-aged life, we've traveled the road together. It's a whirlwind when I stop to think about it. We now find ourselves having adult conversations talking about jobs, relationships, paying bills, moving, future decisions, etc... When 8 years ago our biggest concern was if we were going to get to ride in the church van with Adam and Sergio. Oh the simplicity of being young. And we're still young...so young, yet we feel much older than we did when we first met (PTL for Tammy McFaddin :)

This blog doesn't really even seem to justify or thoroughly explain what Jen means to me. Simply said, she is a beautiful woman of God. She is the person I trust more than anyone. She is the one who I can talk with about issues of the heart. She is the one who holds my secrets inside of her, and she is pretty much the most a-ma-zing party planner/hostess that I know. She is beautiful. Not only on the outside, but she has a beautiful spirit. I often wish she could see herself the way I do, or rather the way God does. She has so many gifts and possess a true compassion and heart for people. She is my BFF and I am so blessed. Thanks j.lo. We go together like peanut butter and jelly. I'll be the jelly, you can be the peanut butter. Skippy, reduced fat...right? Whole wheat bread...yum. 143.

Old School Peeps

My friend Scott and I don't talk on the phone very much, but when we do it's always an enjoyable conversation. I just got off the phone with Scott (who lives in the Bay area) and we chatted for about a hour about all sorts of stuff. Scott is dating one of my good friends, Nina, and I actually met her through him...if that makes sense. I've known Scott for over 10 years now and it's crazy to think of all the things we've done and different phases of life we've passed through. I called him tonight to inform him about my job (or lack there of one) and left him a message and he called me back. He's a late night person, so he called me after midnight, which was totally cool, because I was awake as usual. And as you can tell by the time right now I'm still awake at 2 in the morning. But Scott is a dear friend of mine and though I don't see him all that often and we talk on the phone even less than that, he is one of those friends where we can pick up from wherever we left off last time and just start talking. He's a very easy going kind of guy and I appreciate how he really doesn't seem to worry about things. "Things will work out" he will say and he's always right. Things always do work out. He's a man of faith and I admire that about him. Once again, as I hung up the phone I was reminded of how blessed I am to have people in my life who know me, love me and truly care about me. I also realized how nice it is to have friends that you have history with. I love meeting new people and making new friends, but it's the "old school" friends, who really "know you" (and can remember that really bad haircut you had back in the day) that are precious. I appreciate these friends I have and always enjoy sitting around with them talking about "the good old days" while taking a trip down memory lane. So though he will probably never read this, I would just like to say "Thanks Scott for being you and for being an old school friend of mine". Scott can also make a pretty mean chocolate cake. Yum.

The Long Anticipated Phone Call...

I received a phone call about a hour ago from the executive director of the job I had applied for in San Francisco. I had an interview up there three weeks ago and have been waiting with anticipation to hear back ever sense. And so, did I get the job...? Well...keep reading...

I answered the phone and he identified himself and that he was calling to talk to me about their decision they made regarding my canidacy for the position. I knew it was all down hill when he said, "Although you were an outstanding candidate..." and you can imagine where it went from there. So basically, no, I did not get the job. Though this man is honestly one of the nicest, wisest and gentle hearted men I have ever met (and I only spent two days with him) he assured me that their decision to hire the other candidate was due to something completely out of my control, that being that I was not an alum of the program or their university. He was so sweet as he talked, and though while I was on the phone with him a few tears did run down my cheek, I knew it wasn't an easy dicision for him to make. He offered to be a reference for me in the future and asked if I was ever in San Francisco to please stop by and say hello. I graciously thanked him for his kind words and for calling me to let me know. I hung up the phone and cried. I'm not one that cries a whole lot, but I did cry this time. Not because I was heart broken about not getting the job, but I think it was more an accumulation of a lot of other feelings all built up and let out at that moment. I mean within the span of a five minute phone conversation, my life took on a new direction. I will now (most likely unless God has something else in store) be in Fresno for a while and will be sustitute teaching this fall. Teaching is a ministry all in itself, so I'm looking forward to that, but never the less, my heart was a little hurt by not getting the job. I know full well that God has other things in store for me and I am surely excited about future opportunities with different people and in different places. So in some ways, I'm back to square one. But I know this on-going job searching/interviewing process I've endured over the past six months has made me all the better in the long run. And it seems it has been a "long run" and I'm still running. Good thing I have a close connection with the man who has the directions. PTL. Delicious ambiguity, it's what life is all about...right?

Insight From Oswald Chambers

"All God’s revelations are sealed to us until they are opened to us by obedience. You will never get them open by philosophy or thinking. Immediately you obey, a flash of light comes. Let God’s truth work in you by soaking in it, not by worrying into it. Obey God in the thing He is at present showing you, and instantly the next thing is opened up. We read tomes on the work of the Holy Spirit when... five minutes of drastic obedience would make things clear as a sunbeam. We say, "I suppose I shall understand these things some day." You can understand them now: it is not study that does it, but obedience. The tiniest fragment of obedience, and heaven opens up and the profoundest truths of God are yours straight away. God will never reveal more truth about Himself till you obey what you know already..." Oswald Chambers

I am so good at not listening. Not listening to God that is. I feel I'm pretty good at listening to other people, but when it comes to listening to God I often find myself with my own ideas of how I want things done and therefore don't really need to listen. Kind of like when you buy a table that you need to assemble and you think you know just how to do it, therefore you don't need to read the instructions. But then at the end you're left with a lopsided table and bout 14 extra screws and you think..."Where did I go wrong?" I believe it's our human nature that so badly wants to do things on our own and be independent. If we have to be dependent on anything we're considered weak. "All you women who independent throw your hands up at me..." A little Destiny's Child for all ya'll out there. But it's true. Being independent is deemed a "good" thing when really we're called to be dependent upon God and God alone. Mr. Chambers is one smart man as he says, "Let God's truth work in you by soaking in it, not by worrying into it." Ding ding ding ding ding (imagine winning a toy at the fair...that's what this dinging is supposed to sound like) but I'm so good at "worrying into it". I pray that I will be obedient to God's call and take advantage of the opportunities and expereinces He has in store for me. There is no better place to be than in the arms of the Savior...and that's right where I want to be.

Who Let The...Pigs Out...?

Why do some guys feel a need to make stupid sexual comments to women who are trying to enjoy a simple evening walk? You see, this evening my friend and I were enjoying a walk in her neighborhood. The coolness of the night had set in and we decided to take advantage it. We were only walking about 5 minutes when a group of 4-5 guys who were walking on the opposite side of the street decided to start making unnecessary comments at me. I'm not sure why they picked me, but they did. Now granted I was wearing black shorts and a sports tank top (not one of those mid-stomach ones, this covered it all) but still I did not think I was being immodest at all. Anyways, they start saying crap like, "Wooo...look at her...the one in the black shorts...she has an ass on her. Yum...give me some of that." And they kept going! Saying stupid stuff which really made me question if they had even completed the third grade. I of course thought about my options and thought about a few choice things I could trun around and say to them, but I refrained and we just kept walking. This kind of stuff doesn't usually bother me as much as it did tonight (and I'm not saying this happens all the time, but tonight was not the first) but it really bothered me tonight. It bothered me so much that I couldn't really hold another conversation without thinking about it. Why do guys do that kind of thing? And I don't want to sterotype here and say that ALL guys are like this. Praise The Lord (PTL) that there are men in this world who understand what it means to respect a woman, but these guys have obviously yet to grasp that concept. I was not a happy girl tonight. I was pissed actually. I just didn't understand. When guys say stupid (and I do mean stupid) comments like that, do they really think a girl is going to respond and be like "I've always wanted a man who looks directly at my ass and comments on it first thing. He's a winner." Hmmm...let me think about it...no. Not so much. Oink, oink... somebody obviously let the pigs out tonight.

Why Should We Hire You?

Being that I just graduated from college, my resume has become somewhat like my new best friend. Starting about 6 months ago I began to compile my resume, references, cover letters, etc... All in hopes that I would get a job after I graduated. Well it is July now and still no job. At first I think to myself, "Wow, I am a loser. I have a college degree and I have no job and little idea about exactly what I want to pursue in life". But that brings us back to what seems to be the theme of my week (and the past 6 months): God Knows. Yes, yes He does. But I don't. And that bothers me. I want to know. I want to know where I'll be living in 6 weeks. I am a processor and I want time to process the transition in my mind before it happens. But we don't always get what we want (can I get a PTL for that?). About three weeks ago I had an interview for a job in San Francisco. I had an initial phone interview and then went up to San Fran and had an on-site interview. The people were great and I felt as though I could truly see myself living and working there. Now, three weeks later, still no final answer about that job. I shall find out in the early part of next week. In a lot of ways I have kinda put this job out of my mind and I haven't really considered the possibility that I might just get it. It's easier to have your hopes down and bring them up rather than have them up and watch them fall down. It hurts more when dissapointment sets in and I don't like to be hurt, therefore I don't get my hopes up. Makes sense, right? So right now I have no idea where I will be living in six weeks or what I'll be doing. It is exciting in many ways and I'm sure I'll look back in 20 years and think, "Wow, those were some exciting times back when I was in my early twenties". I'm learning to enjoy the present season of life, ambiguity and all. Just one of the many things I am still trying to learn. And tust me, there are many.

Calling All Cooks

I just made dinner. It was okay. I mean it was good, but not something astronomically amazing. I made chicken with garlic and basil and fresh squeezed lemon juice along side some mashed red potatoes with olive oil, garlic and rosemary. I was going to cook up some fresh snapped green beans, but I just wasn't in the mood. So I didn't. But the food was good and it's always fun to just try something new without a recipe and just go for it. And if I mess up, it's okay, because it's just me eating the food. I finished the dinner off with this new peach drink recipe I found (non-alcoholic...this time...ha). But I cut up peaches and froze them and then added them to my drink and put it all in this fancy glass. It made me feel like I was having a super cool cocktail. I love to cook and have people over. If you think about it, most activities in our society revolve around food of some sort. You either meet a friend to chat over lunch or grab a Starbucks or Jamba together. It's just the way our society works. And though I enjoy going out for a good meal every now and then, it's also fun to cook at home and enjoy the company of people in your kitchen and the laughter that flows throughout the house. I don't have my own house yet, but someday I hope to and I'll invite all of you over. We can cook, laugh, lounge and enjoy life together. Oh it'll happen...and I can't wait.

Frozen Goodness

I just wanted to share with everyone my love of soft serve frozen yogurt. It is so good. Almost heavenly one might say. Yes, I do believe there will be frozen yogurt in heaven. There's nothing quite like the feeling of creamy frozen yogurt in your mouth. I prefer vanilla but chocolate is good too. Actually my all time favorite is strawberry, but it is pretty hard to come by. I think I'm going to have some today. It will be glorious.

We All Have Our "Thing"

I just came back from spending a delightful evening with a close friend of mine. She is the kind of friend with whom I can chat with for hours and really talk about issues deeper than surface level. Her and I are able to talk about issues of the heart. Tonight was just a good time of talking, laughing, a few tears and most important a time of becoming more in tune with what God is teaching each of us in our own lives. It's a beautiful thing when we allow people into our lives to walk along side us and be part of "the process". It's not an easy thing, but it is beautiful nonetheless. We all have our thing. By this I mean we all have our issues, struggles and hurts that penetrate deep into our hearts. I would be lying if I said I didn't have them. I do. I am reminded of the verse in Phillipians that tells us that God's power is made perfect in weakness and therefore we should boast all the more gladly about our weaknesses for when we are weak than we are strong (that was a rough paraphrase, but look it up...Phillipians 4 I believe). But yes, when we are able to address the "things" (I like to call them "issues") in our life, something amazing happens. When we begin to invite God to be a part of the healing process and allow other God-fearing people to join in as well, great things begin to happen. And I do mean GREAT. We all have our "thing" and it's up to us to decide what we are going to do with it.

You Just Never Know...

I think it's very true that we really don't know the amount of influence or impact we have on the lives of others. I truly believe that as followers of Christ we are called to love God and love others. Sounds pretty simple. We obviously don't know all that God is doing at any given moment, as He is always doing something and often times using us in the process. This leads me to the reason for this post. I mean seriously, we never know how God is using us or just how much we might be influencing and impacting the lives of others. My blog is a perfect example of this. You see, I started my blog because I began reading another person's blog. The things they wrote and the Godly insights and humor they provided, impacted me beyond the surface level. And to think I've never met this person who's blog I read in great detail (and they would probably think I was a stalker should they ever find out) but anyways, my life was impacted by the everyday insights they gained from God and chose to write about. And now I am choosing to do the same. I really don't think many people read my blog but maybe someone unbenounced to me actually does and in that case, I would pray that lives would be impacted by the ways in which God is at work in my life. So to this "person" who shall remain nameless, I would just like to say "Thank You". You will never know the impact you've had on me or the amount of laughter you've added to my life. They write some pretty funny stuff too.

F to the R to the I to the ENDS...Friends

I am blessed. Truly blessed with amazing friends. And though I do have an inner circle of what I would say is about 6 or 7 people who really "know" me, I am also blessed with quite a few other people who love me, encourage me, make me laugh, challenge me and simply bless me with their friendship. It is a beautiful thing. I just got off the phone a little bit ago with a friend who just came back from a month long mission trip in Figi (I know...Figi...awesome huh?) But it was so refreshing to chat with her for a bit and catch up some. She shared some stuff going on in her life and I shared some stuff going on in mine. It was a wonderful chat and at the end, when I hung up the phone, I was overcome with an overwhelming sense of thanksgiving. And really I was humbled at that moment when I stopped to reflect upon all of the people God has put in my life. People have often said to me, "Becky, you have a lot of friends" and by no means do I think, "Heck yes I do, I am super cool". Quite the contrary. I see it more as God knows how much help I need and keeps supplying me with people in my life to be part of the process. Again I will say it...it is a beautiful thing. Of course I have a BFF (J.Lo...real name: Jen) and nobody really compares to the BFF, but there will be more on her later. If I just look at my life in the past five years I am in awe of how God has consistently put people in my life at the exact time they were needed. This all goes back to God's faithfulness. God is faithful. Friendship is beautiful. I am humbled. Thank you Jesus.

Country Music and Diet Pepsi

I really do love country music videos. I watch CMT a lot and thourghly enjoy most of the videos played (most of them). This is my first blog and I really didn't know what to post, but as I was thinking about what to write I could hear the voice of Carrie Underwood in the background and I thought about my love of country music. This is somewhat a new found love, within the past two years I would say. Today I thought to myself, "What's better than listening to country music on a summer afternoon while drinking a diet pepsi?" Well, I guess there are things in life that are better than this, but not too many.